Heart Wrenched
by mamabot
Summary: Ratchet finds an ex-Decepticon. Is she a slave, pawn, or a trap?  All he knows, he has to save her and his spark wants her. But is it she who saves him?  That blessed viruse comes back making them both human.  Connie is my creation.
1. Chapter 1 don't save me hero

**Prime Blood: Heart Wrenched Chapter 1**

_Damned Space Bridge! _Ratchet curses as he breaks through the electrical field. The next thing he sees is a field of corn. But before he can react, _**Wham! **_Impact.

His head is ringing. The ground is rumbling. He curses again. Standard Earth procedure, turn to vehicle mode. As fast as he can, he tries to change. Something has gone wrong. He can't get his right arm to fold up. The rumbling is getting louder and closer. _Where am I?_ He tries again and again to engage the arm to fold. Then he sees the damage. It just isn't going to happen. He can see the crops are being harvested. Once again he curses. He can't transform, he doesn't know where he is and he has to stay concealed until he can figure this out. He laughs to himself. This isn't the first time he has done this, yet hopes it isn't his last.

He can see the top of the very small combine coming his way. He better move it! Ratchet manages to stay low and limps his way just ahead of the combine. He starts to pour on the speed in order to break away, then he sees his refuge up ahead. A barn. Keeping low and hopes the farmer won't spot him as he dashes across the open space startling some cows and hides behind the barn.

He hears the combine stop. Peeping around the corner and watches the farmer climb out looking confused. The farmer sees his crops ahead of the combine have be mashed down. There's a large impact spot too. The farmer removes his hat and scratches his head. Then he looks down at his red combine. He lifts the hood and starts tinkering around.

Ratchet could swear he saw the smoke stack turn in his direction. Ratchet pulls back behind the barn. The combine starts back up and continues down the field. Ratchet sinks down behind the barn and starts poking around for his tools.

By dusk he has gotten himself together and concealed as a rescue vehicle. Ratchet drives himself behind the silo when the combine comes to the equipment shed for the night. The farmer looks the combine over carefully and then secures the door. He meets his wife on the porch and gives her a peck on the cheek. They sit down on the porch swing.

"Strangest thing happened in the field today. I could swear it looked like a meteor hit the south corn field in broad day light. The corn is smashed down like a large truck went rolling out of there. And just then the combine just stopped. I poke around and it just started up again. Weird. Very peculiar. How was your day?" the farmer mentions pulling his boots off.

"Radio went on the blink while I was mending your pants, but nothing else. Local news said it looked like a solar flare today," the wife says.

Ratchet has got the feeling he is not alone. Is another Autobot in the area? No, he can feel it: Decepticon? He's getting confused readings. Maybe both are here. _Maybe I'm on the blink. _What happened to Bumble Bee and Prowl? Solar flare? Could it be? They were getting a lot of solar activity where they were, too.

Just when he is about to send a signal to Optimus he cancels that plan. If a Decepticon is in the area, he certainly doesn't want his transmission intercepted. He better do a little recon first. _Where on Earth am I? _again he ponders_._

Scanning intensely, the medic is getting a reading from the equipment shed. He paces around the shed carefully. No need to instigate trouble if he can help it. The reading is certainly getting stronger. Carefully he opens the door, then steps back waiting for a reaction. Nothing. So he folds up and rolls himself inside. He rolls very slowly in front of each vehicle. A Case tractor. A John Deere harvester. Another tractor. A couple feed trailers. But the red combine. He backs up to the tractor. Then he sees it, the exhaust pipe on the combine turns in his direction again. It's got to be the littlest combine he ever saw, but perfect for this small farm.

The warrior in Ratchet leaps to his offensive mode and grabs the combine by the blades impeding it from unfolding and using them on him.

"Please don't hurt me," it pleads with a lady's southern drawl. Ratchet jumps back. That was the last thing he expected.

"Show yourself," he orders.

"I…. I … can't." it almost cries.

"Why?" he is wary of trusting the machine with the Decepticon dog on it's nose. The machine doesn't answer. Ratchet cocks his machine gun in warning to answer.

"Please wait!" it pleads again, "I have done no harm here. I beg of you, leave me in peace."

"Peace?" he growls. He moves his gun-arm and crosses it over his chest but still cocked, "Explain."

"Who are you?" she asks quietly. She backs away from him. But she is now against the shed and can retreat no further.

"No, you first," he takes the offensive approach forward again.

"Conbeana," she answers softly.

"Connie?" he gasps.

"You know me?" she is scared and begins to shake.

"I have heard rumors about you. You were a Decepticon aid."

"Yes. Until is was found out that I betrayed them. Shockwave dropped me here. He placed a restraining bolt on me that confines me to this disguise. My punishment is to be a slave to the humans and never see another of my kind ever again." She sighs heavily.

"And how has your punishment been?" Ratchet doesn't move.

"Better than my service to the Decepticons. I beg of you, leave me alone. I have caused no harm to these humans. You are an Autobot, I can see. The Decepticon bondage will keep me from doing harm to the humans or Autobots. There are no Decepticons out here. Megatron would never travel to this remote area. No technology worth his time here. As you can probably feel, there is no Energon here either. Please just go."

The front door on the house is heard opening. "Who goes there?" The farmer calls out to the shed cocking a rifle.

Connie pulls forward and she whispers, "Quickly, behind me. Don't let him see you." Ratchet can hear the farmer's foot steps coming their way. Ratchet does as Connie suggested.

The farmer comes in and looks around. Connie has her radio on. The farmer climbs in and shuts the talk station radio off. He scratches his head again.

"I could have sworn I secured everything before I went in. I must be loosing it." He shuts the equipment door and locks it gain. Connie sighs and so does Ratchet.

"That was close," they both say. Ratchet can't help but chuckle a little.

"Who are you?" she ask again but with a different tone to her question.

"Do you know who I am?" he can sense something about her.

"Yes, I think so," she says it ever so softly. He can see her face carefully emerge as she painfully bends the combines so he can see her tawny optics. It reminds him of a child peeking her head from beneath the blankets. "You are Ratchet. Optimus Prime's chief medical officer." She smiles up at him tentatively.

He smiles at her too. She drops the combine blades. His smile confirms it. "Where am I?" he softly asks. Then settles himself into a sitting position against a beam and shutting down his weapons.

It's good to hear her voice be friendly, "You are in Kansas. Just about the middle of nowhere but tornado alley and crops. Why are you here?"

"I don't know myself," he grumbles. Now it's her turn to laugh. He gives her a not so amused look. "I have to get back," he reminds her of his duty.

"I'm sorry, I meant no offense," she sounds so genuine. They sit and ponder the situation. "What will you do about me, when you get back? Will you tell Optimus?"

"I don't know," he rests his chin on his fist. "Can I even get back?"

"How did you get here?" she asks. He turns to her extremely curious.

"How long have you been here?" He is careful with his answers.

"Ah, let me think." She is silent for a long while. "Well, I got moved from Georgia to Kansas. I was sold. Then I was left sitting in a field for a very long time. I actually put myself into hibernation for awhile. When I came to, I noticed some of the equipment had changed, so I managed to modify myself. They were going to stick me in a museum and I knew I would go stir crazy. So I managed to get my self upgraded when they dragged me to a convention with new and old equipment. So I'm going to guess I've been here over hundred fifty years, maybe two hundred."

Ratchet stares at her, "You don't sound bitter or angry. You sound happy."

She smiles again, "I am, Ratchet. I really am. I'm actually doing something useful. I'm not destroying things. Well, okay, I'm cutting crops for harvest to provide for the humans. But you know what I was doing before, right?"

Ratchet nods his head sadly, "Harvesting Decepticon parts from dead or dieing being to create more powerful ones."

"Who went on to more destruction," she finishes. "I betrayed them by harvesting poison that I infected all the modified ones… and anyone who came into contact with them. It made Shockwave very sick until he cut off his own arm to safe himself. The first thing he did when he got a new arm was to remove mine."

Ratchet shakes his head and shutters. "So brutal. You Decepticons are barbarians."

"Before you judge, you must remember history. Even Optimus was betrayed. And, I did not chose to be a Decepticon. It was chosen for me."Ratchet knows he should not be talking with the enemy. He knows the power of mind control. Megatron was the master of deception. He was the king of twists and turns to his words. Shockwave was even worse. Ratchet knows Connie could be lying. He knows better than to believe anything she says. He will only listen like it is a story. _Do not believe her words_… he constantly reminds himself. She tells him her story….


	2. Chapter 2 conbeana

**Heart Wrenched Chapter 2 (connie's past)**

She had been a young 'bot. But weren't they all when the promise came? She had been in the wrecking yard harvesting parts that she saw as useable. To others, it looked like junk or trash to be melted down. But she managed to save enough parts that she had made herself a small pet. It didn't have enough intelligence to find it's own Energon or clean up after it's self. It just liked to sit with her and hum. Just what she liked when she got home from work.

Eventually she had got herself a reputation for being able to help her fellow bots who had accidents. No she hadn't been trained as a medical technician, but she knew enough.

When the war started, she had been trying to save as many of her friends she could in the city. She was trying to save the civilians. Conbeana didn't care about which side was doing what, she was just trying to save anyone she could . One of Shockwave's minions had come dashing through and saw her helping someone. He grabbed her right out of the street before she knew what had happened. The street exploded just after he lifted her off the ground. She was dropped into a transport with a bunch of injured bots. Immediately she began trying to help. Her spark lead her to help.

The next thing Combine knew, she was one of the chief medics on this ship. She really didn't have time to think about what or who she was helping. She was just helping.

Then Shockwave and Megatron came in and saw her at work. They called her to the side. Megatron turned on his charm. He fed her the line that his team was trying to save the planet. The planet was in danger and we needed as many bots like herself to patch everyone up. The more lives she saved, the more could go back out and try to save the planet. And so that's what she did. Unknown to her, she was a prisoner. She was stuck on this ship helping Decepticon soldiers destroy her home. Patching them up and returning them to the battle field. She was sequestered, supposedly to keep her safe from the war outside. But the truth was so she wasn't influenced by the outsiders.

This went on for years. She began to get weary. There wasn't much faith left for her to run on. She hadn't been outside the ship. She was beginning to wonder if this war was worth it because it lasted so long. That was the beginning of her down slide.

Conbeana started listening more carefully. She overheard Shockwave talk about the Autobots. The Autobots had halted in Megatron's attempt to take over Cybertron. Now she began to understand what was really going on. When she went back to her quarters, she looked around a lot more carefully. She had been a fool. Devastated, she had to get out of this. How?

So she started listening more intensely. Paying more attention to guard movements. Stashing supplies. Making her plans and began her own lab experiments. She knew she was on her own. She knew she could trust no one. She would die alone in this attempt to bring a halt to the destruction of her home. If there was anything left…

The Energon Poison was almost ready. Now what to do with it once she made it? She began to produce more and more of her poison. Then she began to slide the poison into the injured she patched up.

The idea was to send patched up Decepticons and send them back out to the battle field. When he fell on the field, another Decepticon would pick him up to return. That would infect the next one and the one that tried to save him. So on , so forth. She smiled at the idea. Of course, she had given herself the anti-toxin and destroyed the rest of the anti-toxin and her notes. Conbeana would be able to escape during the confusion or die trying. Maybe she would be lucky and take out a few Decepticon commanders in the process. Well, she almost got her wish.

The third wave of injured went out and because they weren't a hundred percent well, they quickly fell. Sure enough, the others went to gather the ones they could get repaired. They began to fall. Shockwave was the commander on that run. He was angry to see no one was following his orders. He rushed over and saw them all writhing and cringing in pain and agony. Shockwave reached down and grabbed one to get his attention and answers to the problem. Immediately Shockwave could feel the problem as his arm began to burn. He shot his own arm off to stop the spread. He left the injured burning in agony on the ground. He knew the base had been infiltrated.

He fired off back to the med-ward. Connie had heard Shockwave as soon as he landed. He figured out quickly who the problem as in the med-ward. He taunted her while stomping down the corridor he shot at her telepathiclly, "You may run little Connie, but I will find you. Go head and flee, you are mine!" The waves of power he sent out racked her to the core. She could feel everything he intended, and she had already seen similar results. He would carry out his threat. Connie ran faster and tried to hide. She forgot he knew this ship much better than anyone else. He had her cornered at her escape route. With a wicked grin he had her pinned to the bulkhead door with his remaining good arm with one quick thrust, "Now, dear Connie, tell us what you did?"

Blackout had been called to join Shockwave at the cargo hold. He looked very confused between the innocent little medic and big gruff one-armed Shockwave. "What is going on, Shockwave?"

"Oh, that's what I would really like to know," Shockwave leans in with his menacing single eyed look. Connie choose to stay silent. He squeezes harder. Still nothing. "You may want to think once more about what you are doing. I want answers. NOW!" She fitches but not a sound. "Hold her, Blackout."

Blackout reaches for her as Shockwave lets go. She tries to make a run for it. Blackout is larger and faster. He grabs her by the neck as well. He slams her back against the wall cracking her helmet.

Shockwave cackles, "One last chance, dear little Connie." A probe snakes out of his chest. She still doesn't speak. Her body rocks and she cries out in shock as her arm hits the floor. Shockwave cackles again, "Now we are even. Now, would you like to tell me what you have done?"

She doesn't move or speak. A second blast drops her other arm. She just drops her head and stares at her arms on the floor. She doesn't speak. She doesn't care if she dies. After all the pain she has caused by supporting the evil side of this war. She thought she was alone before, now she truly does. She doesn't care if she dies. There is nothing else she can do.

"Bring her!" Shockwave orders Blackout. Blackout follows Shockwave out of the cargo hold forcing Connie in front of himself by one claw imbedded in her back. Shockwave leads the way to Connie's quarters. He sees all the devices in her room. He laughs. "Oh, this is very interesting. Let us see what we have here." Shockwave looks around her room very carefully. Transformers, surge devices, wires, tubes, converters, drops of energon… Then he finds an object he likes. He picks it up and twirls it carefully in his remaining hand.

"You and I both know what this is. I'm not as innocent to repairs as you and Megatron think I am. I have repaired myself enough times to save his sorry hide. But now, I think you dear Connie need an upgrade." He brings the device very close to her face. Her eyes are wide with fear. This was something she hadn't counted on. She figure she would just be executed. Not this. Anything but this!

"You know what they say, one good turn deserves another. Blackout, it is imperative you don't let her move."

She goes blind as he puts a foot over her face and she feels the punch of his fist in her chest. The last thing she hears, "A little something sweet for your little Autobot friends as we send you back." Then her world goes blank.

~~~ Connie wakes up in Georgia. She can see a pond before her. She gazes closely at the reflection in the water. A steam powered combine. She tries to transform. She can't. Connie takes inventory of her senses. The locking pin. Carefully she locates it. As she probes it with her sensors, she knows. She's doomed.

The dealer of steam powered farm equipment is very excited about this new black and red one. He had no idea how it got here, but it would certainly help pay his bills. He is easily able to sell it that day.

And so this is how Connie started her life on Earth. As the years went by, she adapted and was able to keep herself from being scrapped. She had seen a couple Autobots go by, through the years. But she also knew, she would be no use to either Autobot or Decepticon. Even if she wanted to go back to the Decepticons.

She cringed every time she felt the tingle of a fellow Energon being. She had hoped she would never be found. Just to be either useful to the humans until maybe, just maybe one special gift would fall from the sky and wipe out this curse she carries.


	3. Chapter 3 tainted

**Heart Wrenched Chapter 3 (ratchet & connie's tornado escape, 4 (ratchet talks with Ironhide)**

~~ "And so, that's my story, Ratchet." She doesn't tell Ratchet about curse she carries. She's heard enough about him through Shockwave's rants during her time of planning and creating of the poison. Connie is in awe of just sitting here with _him._

Ratchet lays his head back against the beam and rolls it softly from side to side closing his eyes, "I'm sorry Connie. I wish we had known. Maybe we could have-"

"Ratchet, you are no fool. Neither is Prime. No, you wouldn't have rescued me. And I don't want you to rescue me now. Just, go." Her voice almost waivers. Ratchet reaches out and lays a tender hand on her. Now she does let off a hint of a sob and pulls out of his touch. Touch. It's been so long since one of her own has touched her in kindness. And the cruelty of fate is _his_ touch. She slinks away from him and Ratchet just watches her hide in shame.

She was also privileged enough to over hear an Autobot commander's planning session a few years ago. They thought it was a secured location in an Oklahoma field before they split off to the four Autobot cities. She had sighed heavily that night. The medic had enraptured her attention with his forceful tone about saving a member of their team over the validity of the mission. And his was respected enough by Prime, that he got his way. Many may see the gruff and grouchy 'Bot. But she saw through all that. His spark was more loving and compassionate than many and had to be gruff to save his own sanity. Connie found that admirable.

She sighs heavily, if only she had known what the Autobots were all about, in the beginning. If only she hadn't been deceived by the Decepticons. If only, if only…

That day in the field, she watched them take off to the four winds helping the humans and combat the Decepticons to retake Cybertron. She was of no use to anyone now. It fueled her drive to help these humans. If she couldn't help her own kind, maybe she could help these partners of Cybertron's saviors. It gave her hope. It gave her a new lease on life, doomed and trapped or not.

That one commander, out of the four from that day, stuck in her mind. The one bound and determined to help. The one who was not only a commander, but a true medic. One who was constantly helping… saving lives. Human and Autobot. Sometimes, even Decepticons. Time had caused her imagination to wander and with the stories she heard and what she had witnessed with her own eyes. The thought were weaving from her brain and down around her lonely spark. Truth was painfully clear…

Now he was sitting before her. If he knew her curse, he would feel obligated to help. Even at risk for himself. No, she wouldn't let him take that risk. His life was a hundred times more important than her own existence.

"I'm begging you, leave me in peace. It is my duty to help provide for these humans in penance for all the harm I have caused. Please, just go," she tries to sound desperate enough to get him away from her as fast as possible.

Ratchet ponders her words carefully. Then he scans her. "You are running low on Energon."

She smiles, "I don't use much in this mode. Beside I hibernate during the off season."

He pulls up a gauntlet, "Even so…" He extracts some of his emergency Energon store and gives her a shot. She sighs in revitalization and the compassionate touch.

He places two fingers on the dog on her nose. She screams in pain, "Don't!" He jumps back.

"I have to get you out of here." He warns her, bordering on an order.

She whimpers, "I told you to leave me alone." It's a stale mate. "I don't want your help. My life is fine. Don't change me."

He looks at her very confused. There is something in her inflection that makes him push the issue. "Aren't you tired of the bondage? Isn't that what the war was all about? Bondage? Why are you allowing the Decepticons to keep you in bondage?" She doesn't speak, afraid if she does, she will spill it all.

That night they just wait it out. The next day, as she is getting ready to head out to work, but the weather changes drastically. It looks mean and vicious out there.

"Tornados are coming," she sniffs. "Big one, too."

Ratchet looks around at her warning and finishes with his own, "That's not all."

"This is your fault," she can feel it too now.

"Mine?" He unfolds and warms up his guns looking to the sky through the cracks of the barn roof.

"You just had to drop out of the sky in my field and attract them." She tries to keep the tension off the incoming attack. She knows if they find her, they will not hesitate to capture her for the toxin. They will not hesitate to kill her either. They would love to use Ratchet as a test subject. "You have to leave now."

"Not without you," he goes into command mode.

"What about my free will?" She tries to argue. The farmer and his family head to the storm shelter.

Ratchet backs out of the barn still searching the sky. "This is not a time to argue with me," he aims up to the sky. The tornado is coming in fast from the south. It least a four, pushing a category five. The doom is coming from the east. That is where he is keeping his focus.

Connie rams him with all her might, "Get the scrap off my farm!"

He picks her up and sets her on a trailer, "Not without you!"

"Ratchet, you have no idea what you are dealing with!" she bellows at him over the roar of the tornado.

Now he understands she holds a secret. He leans down menacingly, "Then tell me. And you better be pretty quick. Either the tornado or the Deceptions are going to reach us any moment." He holds her with his stare.

Calmly she tells him, "If I am shot, it will kill both Autobot and Decepticon. No mercy for either."

He straightens up and puts his hands on his hips. "Well, this _is _interesting. Who's side are you on?"

"My own." She makes that a firm clear order.

"You need an ally. You can't defend your self right now."

She lies, "I don't want you Ratchet." She wants him with all her spark. Thank the All-Spark he can't see her eyes and she managed to keep a firm tone.

He straightens up just in time to get the first shot off and send the first Decepticon off trajectory. He lands nearly on Connie. The Decepticon back hands Connie sending her rolling into the barn. Ratchet sees it out of the corner of his eye. She remains silent, staying camouflaged. Ratchet is landed on by the next Decepticon. He aims a fist at Ratchet's head. Ratchet manages to turn to the side and then get his saw to slice through the torso spilling vital liquids. The combatant pins Ratchets other arm to the ground. Ratchet fires off a cannon into his face. It takes out one eye. With his fist he beats in the other eye until his opponent howls and releases Ratchet. The third Decepticon is coming in and Ratchet is seriously wondering if he can beat this. The tornado is encroaching.

From the north comes Ironhide, Jolt and Sideswipe. "Miss us?" Sideswipe smirks. They quickly protoform and engage the enemy. Ratchet tries to keep an eye on Connie. She is on her side. She can't move and is in danger of getting stepped on. Ratchet makes a wild duck under another opponent's swing. He fakes a fall and lands beside her.

He whispers to her, "Are you alright?"

"Fine, I concede, get me out of here," she grumbles. He smiles at her. "Don't give me that look," she growls. He nearly gets his head stepped on by a ruckus with Jolt and his opponent. Ratchet tucks Connie close to his chest and runs towards the tornado.

"What on Earth are you doing?" Ironhide bellows.

The tornado is very close. Almost on top of the fight. "We need to go," Sideswipe suggests.

They watch in awe as Ratchet curls himself over the red combine and leaps into the category 5 tornado. The Autobots follow him in. The Decepticons, not to let their opponents leave alive, follow them in.

Ratchet clasps Connie with all his might and takes the tumbling in the spinning swirl of debris and destruction. The Decepticons are all thrown off. Jolt bellows, "I'm gonna loose my Energon!"

Then Ratchet bellows, "NOW!"

He tosses Connie into the eye and quickly fires at every confused Decepticon in range. Likewise do his comrades. They leave the Decepticons dizzy, disorganizes and confused. Then the Autobots, one by one leap to the eye. Ratchet balls himself over Connie. The others latch onto him. The eye passes them by. Together they cling as one unit as the other half of the tornado washes over them attempting to tear them to bits.

As soon is it clears, Ironhide calls it, "Now!"

They alt-form and tear off down the road. Ratchet races behind them, still in proto-form, carrying Connie. He sees a trailer large enough a mile down the road. He drops her on it and quickly attaches it to himself. He tows her the rest of the way back to their base near Alberta. Connie is silent the whole way. She has been silent for so many decades it is no problem for her to do it again. Besides, she's torn between awe, fear, and enrapture. Her role model has just turned to her hero. She prays she won't be his death. She has to get away from him. For his own good. She would never be able to live with herself if he died trying to save her from bondage.

They arrive back at the base. They protoform. Ratchet turns to Connie and softly asks her, "Are you alright?"

"Let me go," she tries again with hostility.

"I thought you said you concede?" he smirks. They've had this fight too many times in the last couple days. He know he doesn't have all the information, but she also isn't willing to release any more. "Do you have something to say?"

"Prime. I want to see Prime. It is my right." She says nothing else.

Sideswipe turns to Ratchet, "Where did you find this little spit fire?"

Ratchet ignores the jest. "Where is Optimus?"

Ironhide answers simply, "Busy." Ratchet understands: he isn't here.

"Fine." He turns back to Connie, "Let me get that locking pin off you."

In fear she cries out, "DON"T TOUCH ME!" Her loud cry sends all the Autobot back a couple steps. It also brings the others from their work stations.

"Either I see Prime now, or I leave. My right." She sneers with all the warning she can. She even starts whirring her combine blades to keep them at bay.

Ironhide warms up his cannon while turning his voice to Ratchet, "What the slag is going on?" Connie starts to back up.

"DON"T MOVE!" Ironhide and Ratchet bellow at her. Ironhide aims his cannon at her. Ratchet blocks her retreat with his body.

"Am I a prisoner?" she demands.

"Yes!" Ironhide barks.

"No," counters Ratchet at the same time with a soothing tone.

The two friends stare each other down. "She has a secret?" Ironhide tries to grind into Ratchet.

"Yes," smoothly he replies. Then he steps around her to come closer to Ironhide. "We need to know what it is. She said if you fire on her it will kill us all."

Ironhide backs his cannon down to an aim that will wound vs. kill. Then turns his head towards his fellow commander, "Then I suggest you find out what it is before this place is over run by Decepticons."

Ratchet growls at him, "An how do you expect me to do that with you threatening to blow her head off? Doesn't establish a whole lot of trust."

Jolt interjects, "Maybe you two should take this else where?" He indicates the audience they have.

They both point to Connie, "Don't let her move!"

As soon as Ironhide has Ratchet secluded, he slams Ratchet up against the wall with a palm to the chest. "What are you doing? Are you crazy bringing a spy into this base?"

Ratchet shoves Ironhide's hand away, "She's not a spy."

"You do know who she is, right?" Ironhide questions his friend's sanity.

"I know slagging well who she is. I saw her work. I euthanized her work." He turns his back to Ironhide. "You didn't see her in that barn when I found her. She was begging me to leave her be."

"She is still begging that. Why did you bring her here?" Ironhide tries a softer approach with his friend. "Ratchet, you know you are too soft," teasing his gruffness.

Ratchet smiles. He knows he needs Ironhide's callousness to counter his temperament. "And you are too brusque."

"What are we going to do then?" Ironhide crosses his arms and cools down his own temper.

"When is Prime due back?"

Ironhide laughs, "When he's done kicking over a Decepticon ship." Ratchet laughs at that. No one knows when their leader will be back.

"Talk to me, Ratchet. I haven't seen you this bent out of shape in a long time. Why are you so soft on a this Decepticon?"

Ratchet doesn't answer him right away. He looks down at his feet. "I'm not as soft as you may think."

"And I'm not a brusque as you think," he counters.

Ratchet smirks, "Oh, _that _I know for sure." Ironhide shoves him again. The friends shake their heads again. Then Ratchet holds up his hands, "Alright, let's put her in custody. If for no other reason than for her own protection. Then I need your help in my lab. I need to know everything you and Brawl know about explosive locking pins."

"Explosive locking pins? That sounds like Shockwave's work." His eyes are wide with surprise.

"Exactly. I need to figure out how to release one without taking all our heads off."

"Ratchet, I certainly hope she is worth it." Ironhide shakes his head.

"Ironhide, listen to me. She has bore that locking pin for over two hundred Earth years and who knows how many before then. She tried to sabotage one of Shockwave's bases. It went badly for her. This was her punishment."

Ironhide shrugs, "So? That's the price you pay for working with Shockwave."

Ratchet shakes his head. "Don't you remember? It was serve or die. It wasn't like it was for us. We had a chance to know the truth. She didn't. Until it was too late. And then she tried to change. Pence, she called it. What would you call it being locked into your alt mode for that long?"

"Why doesn't she want you to remove it? I don't understand why she is fighting so hard. If she truly believes we aren't the enemy, then why is she resisting us."

Ratchet raises his finger, "Exactly. That is my point exactly. That is what I am trying to figure out. Why? Why would you?"

Ironhide scratches his head. "You know Ratchet, maybe you aren't as crazy as I originally thought." Ratchet shakes his head in amused warning.

~~ With Brawl and Ironhide's information Ratchet figures out how to release part of the hold on Connie's locking pin. But the catch is, will she let him. He comes to her in her cell while Ironhide and Brawl are away on recon. He crouches beside her . He offers her some Energon. She still looks scared. She doesn't accept it. Instead she pleads with him softly, "Please Ratchet, let me go."

Ever so softly he asks her. His voice is ever so soft, it feels like a caress, "Why?"

She spills it. "The toxin I created is in the pin. If you release the pin it will kill you all. Shockwave felt it was the best laid trap. Please let me go. I can't bare to watch you or your comrades die. I can't bare the guilt. I already have enough I have to pay for, don't ask me to bare that too."

Ratchet sits back. Now he sees it all. But she doesn't see how it hits him in the spark even more. "Let me take that risk. I will bare the responsibility. I will take the blame. I will risk it all."

"I can't let you," she sobs. Her worst fears have come. He knows the truth and still fights for her. He walks out of her cell back to his lab. Her tears cut him deeply.

Ratchet spends the next three days poured over his notes. He doesn't talk to anyone. He doesn't even notice when someone brings him Energon. They practically have to force feed him.

Then he comes back to Connie's cell. "I have it."

"No. I'm begging you for the last time. Please let me go in peace."

"You will be at peace." He strokes her. She shutters. Before she knows it, in his caresses he drips a liquid onto the dog shaped locking pin. Then his soft voice melts her resolve, "Try to transform."

She is terrified, but she can feel the pin releasing a tiny bit. She ever so slowly reconfigures herself. She is weak. Her joins are crusted with dirt and rust and who knows what else. Ratchet has his kit with him and lubes and helps her ease to her protoform. The blades now hang loose upon her head like long strands of hair. Her eyes of tawny amber are open and looking right at him. She gives him a crooked smile. Then she begins to crumble again. She has no arms to help herself. He holds her upright. He puts an arm around her waist and a hand to her chest to steady her. He sees the pin is still there. Dead center in her chest. Right above her spark.

"I can't remove it all the way yet, but I figured you might be more comfortable like this."

She smiles up at him, "Thanks, Ratchet." She can hardly believe she is in his arms. Someone is touching her again. Not just any one. Him. She looks away from him, but he tightens his grip holding her closer. The rest of her resolve is going to falter quickly if she tells him what else she is feeling. She motions for him to let her sit. He eases her down.

"Let me check your vitals." He gets out his monitor. He lifts her chin. He is supposed to check her optics, but her eyes see down into his very soul. He swallows hard. He feels his own resolve beginning to falter. He clears his throat and sits back. "Better go check on…"

"The integrity of the locking pin?" she tries to help. He just nods and walks away. Ratchet makes it outside and finds himself trying to find his own breath. She is stunningly beautiful even in battered shape. Her resolve is so strong. She is so determined. She has a good spark. She wants to help. But she was cursed, and has found a way to live with it. He released her curse. He cares more than he should for a patient. He tries to clear his head but keeps coming up with more questions.

Just as he has gotten his head together he hears Brawl bellow, "Stop or I'll shoot! Escaped prisoner!" They only have one prisoner right now. He dashes out of his lab. Ironhide is three strides ahead of Ratchet.


	4. Chapter 4 friends with enemies

**Prime Blood Heart Wrenched Chapter 4 (ratchet/Ironhide stand off)(connie begins her human life at what cost?)**

Ironhide has Connie in a headlock. His cannon is to her temple. "Tell me, you sick little being what you are doing here?" He growls at her.

Ratchet rushes into the room with Jolt and Medivac at his side. "Release her Ironhide!" Ratchet bellows.

Connie tries to struggle. Ironhide grounds the hot cannon in harder. She grunts in pain but will not give in to screams like a weakling. "If you are going to execute me," she directs her words to Ironhide in a low voice, "Do it though the head. Not the chest."

Ironhide backs the cannon off just slightly. "Why should I let you choose your death? You certainly choose enough times for others." She doesn't answer. He won't listen to her either.

Ratchet tries again, "Let her go, Ironhide." Still with authority but taking a step closer to them. Ironhide directs his cannon at Ratchet. Ratchet stops and draws his own. But he has it pointed at the ground. He opens the case on the table to his right.

"NO!" She cries out. "Don't! Please don't do it!" Connie finally pleas.. Ironhide puts the cannon back to her head. "Shut up, Punk-et Decepticon." But he draws his attention back to Ratchet.

Ratchet opens a panel on his gun arm. Ironhide watches him remove something and carefully set it aside. Then he picks up something else, a green glowing liquid vial, "Let me help you, Conbeana." Ironhide sees that Ratchet intends to fire liquid at Connie. He rotates her out of Ratchet's firing range but still able to keep Ratchet in his own sights.

She struggles again and gets angry, "I don't want your help, Ratchet! Let me go. Don't touch me, Ironhide!" Ratchet drops the vial into the gun chamber of his arm. Then he twists and loads a second vial. "NO Ratchet!" She lashes out at Ironhide. But he is stronger than her and pins her even tighter.

Ironhide is very confused with Ratchet. "Have you lost your mind Ratchet? What has she done to you? You know better than to mess with that virus. You better back off, my friend."

"Listen to Ironhide!" Connie cries out in a plea. Ratchet closes up the panels on his arm.

"You shut up! I _will_ shoot you," Ironhide bellows down at Connie.

She twists her face to look directly into Ironhide's face. She has fear and determination all over her face. She leans into his threat and growls, "Then do it now! One shot through the head. NOW Autobot! Or are you afraid to execute a female?" She challenges him. Ironhide's eyes flare at the challenge.

Ratchet raises his arm at Connie in Ironhide's grasp. "Stand back Ironhide." He tries to order his comrade and dear friend.

Ironhide once again directs his cannon at Ratchet, "No. _You_ stand down."

"Jolt! Medivac! Release her," Ratchet tries to order them. They look between the prisoner and the stand off between the two current lead commanders.

"Now!" Ratchet orders again. They don't even have their guns warmed up, let alone drawn. They don't move. They look to Ironhide.

"If either one of you makes a hostile move, I won't hesitate to lay you out, too. Now Ratchet, for the last time, stand down. I'm going to take over with this prisoner. You are going to confine yourself to quarters."

"I will do no such thing. I'm going to save her life." Ratchet over rides the orders with the tone of medical rights.

"I will execute her before you can do that." Ironhide warns him with his SIC tone.

Ratchet twists his arm and resets the weapon he is going to fire, "Fine. I'll take you down and then save her life."

Connie calls out again, "No you won't. Ratchet, I will kill you before you can do that."

"I would listen her, Ratchet. She is not worth saving. She even admits it." Ironhide puts the cannon back to her head. Ratchet fires at Ironhide's feet. Ironhide doesn't flinch. His gun doesn't move either. But he does fire a warning stare at Ratchet. "Ratchet, so help me…"

"Back off Ironhide. I know what I am doing. My next shot won't miss either."

Ironhide tracks his gun back to Ratchet, "I'm better at this game than you. I've kicked your can too many times. You know I _won't _miss."

Ratchet narrows his gaze and cocks the gun, "This is a new game, Ironhide. I won't loose either. Trust me, I know what I am doing. I can save her."

"She doesn't want saving," Ironhide softly tells his friend.

"She doesn't know what she is saying."

"You are thinking like a human. You have turned too soft, Ratchet. Back off."

Ratchet tilts his head ever so slightly and smirks, "You should know."

Ironhide fires a shot taking a light off Ratchet's shoulder out of spite. "A warning shot across your bow. You know I won't miss next time. Either."

"Neither will I," just as determined, Ratchet counters.

Medivac and Jolt are shocked. The two best friends on base have their cannons aimed at each other over a Decepticon prisoner. The tension is so tight only Prime could cut it. And where is he? There is nothing else said. Bee comes to a screeching halt outside the bunker. He dashes into the building and stops suddenly. He stares at the stand off between the commander-friends.

Ironhide is first to growl, "Stay out of this, Bee." Bee looks between his two friends. Then steps between them. Ratchet resets his aim around Bee. Ironhide counters.

"What on Earth is going on here? You know Optimus will have both your heads. You both need to back off." Bee warns them, sure that they both have lost their minds.

"NO!" they both bellow. Everyone jumps at the volatility of the retort.

"Shoot me," Connie orders Bee.

"Don't you dare," Ratchet warns.

"Shut up!" Ironhide finishes. Bee looks over at Medivac and Jolt. They are utterly shocked by the scene and can't move. Bee makes a move towards the obvious prisoner. "What are you doing , Bee?"

"You two need an intervention," Bee continues to move towards Connie. Ratchet tracks his moves.

"Ratchet are you going to shoot Bee too?" Medivac asks.

"No," his eyes are intensely focused on a target. He uses the sound of Bee's footsteps to hide the rotation of his barrel. Ironhide keeps his gun on Ratchet but releases his hold on Connie. Bee takes her shoulders into his grasp. Slowly he turns her. Unbeknownst to Bee, that was just what Ratchet wanted. Ratchet tracks her chest.

She cries out just as Ratchet fires. As soon as soon as the pulse release is felt, Ironhide lets off his own cannon at Ratchet. Ratchet manages to get one more off before Ironhide's projectile knocks him to the floor. Medivac and Jolt go to Ratchet. Bee pushes Ironhide against the walls letting Connie drop to the floor.

Optimus rushes into the room with Hot Rod and surveys the damage. Bee has his hands full keeping Ironhide pinned to the wall. When Prime raises his hand to Ironhide, he stops fighting and lets Bee hold him back. On the floor, Ratchet is smoldering from his upper chest cavity. Medivac looks up to Prime, "I better get him to the lab." Prime nods. Medivac and Jolt start to remove Ratchet, but Ratchet squirms.

"Wait," he weakly says. He points to Connie. Prime steps aside so Ratchet can see. "Oh no," he sighs heavily and lays his head back down to the floor giving up.

Prime walks over to the carcass of the prisoner. Connie's red and black body is laid on it's side where it had crumpled. But there is a clear hole straight through the center of the chest. The eyes are barely lit. Prime can clearly see that there is no hope. He takes his own cannon to her head. "May you rest in peace," and he fires. Ratchet's silence is more devastating than if he had cried out. Prime turns to him, "I'm sorry." Then he nods to Jolt and Medivac. They remove Ratchet. Prime turns to Bee. Bee reads the look of his commander and nods, then leaves Ironhide alone with Optimus. Prime cools his cannon and then crouches and softly asks his friend Ironhide, "What the _slag_ is going on?" Ironhide shakes his head. Then he tries to find something to say. But before he can, he sees something. He points to a hole in the wall. They both look to each other.

"No way. It couldn't be…" Quickly the two commanders exit the building. They start searching. What ever made that hole in the wall came tumbling out into this wilderness.

"Maybe it was just the exhaust from the shot. It couldn't really…. He couldn't have been planning …. You don't think….? Not again," Ironhide asks Prime with a sag.

"We need some answers from Ratchet. You better tell me what has been going on." They walk back to the lab where Medivac and Jolt are working on Ratchet. Ratchet is unconscious. "Well, it looks like we won't get any answers from him for now. We better start searching just in case." Ironhide fills Prime in on the fracas that has been going on for the last week while he was away. Prime rubs his forehead in frustration. Then he gives orders.

Ironhide and Hot Rod gather a team and start searching the wilderness around the bunker. They aren't picking up any Decepticon readings. The aren't picking up any small Autobot readings either. Humans, well…..

There's a highway not too far from the edge of the bunker hillside. "Roll out!" Ironhide calls out. The team begins rolling down the highway. But, what are they looking for?

Connie finds herself cold. Has she been jettisoned into space? Very carefully she opens her eyes and looks at her surroundings. She's in a field of dry grass but can hear engines. Automobiles? Slowly she sits up. She feels so strange. Arms? She has arms again? Wait, these aren't her arms. These arms are human? She starts breathing very fast and her chest starts to hurt. _I'm a human! I'm a human! Primus! What has he done to me?_

She hears the sound of a truck horn. She cringes. Optimus Prime? Then she sees where the noise is coming from. A highway. It has tons of vehicles on the road. She looks back to the other noises she hears. The Autobots are up the hill. What does she do? Does she go back? Does she go forward? Either way it will be a gamble for her life.

She runs towards the highway. Then she sees it. The locking pin containing the toxin. It doesn't look very big, but she knows how deadly it is. She picks up the small doglike model in shielded Cybertainium. Her hand can barely close around it. She runs for the freeway.

Cars honk at her. She looks down at herself. A white naked female human. She looks quite beaten up and scratched. She knows this could be dangerous, but she has no choice. Finally a car pulls over. She sighs with relief when she sees it is a female like herself.

"Oh honey dear, get in here. There are a lot of creepy people. You have no business being on the side of the road naked. Have you been in trouble?" The dear lady with the French accent asks her.

"I have," she weakly answers in her Georgian southern drawl.

"Come on, I'll get you to my sister's place. She isn't but an hour down the road and we will call the Mounties."

_So I'm in Canada. Okay. This could help. _The lady hands over her warm long coat. Connie wraps up in it and lays her head against the window. This woman keeps chattering on about how wonderful her sister is. Connie starts to tune her out. But her gaze drifts to the hill side. She has seen comrade fire on comrade before. Even kill. She's even witnessed humans do it. But this time, it hit her to the core. She knows the bond Ironhide and Ratchet have. It is so different. Tight, like the last farmer and his brother. Like this lady rattling on about her wonderful sister. It brings tears to her eyes that she had come between them. Ratchet had fallen. Ironhide means what he says. But did he really kill Ratchet? It was her worst fear coming true: she had caused Ratchet's death. Connie finds herself softly sobbing. Ratchet. He was willing to risk his life for her. No one has ever done that for her. He was willing to take a fatal shot from his best friend for her. Her sobs get louder and she collapses her face into her hands.

The woman's hand comes over and grips her softly, "I'm sorry, honey. You must have been through something terrible. We'll get you help right away. Is there anyone we can call for you? Do you have any family? Any friends?" That was the last straw for Connie. Ratchet was the last friend she had. If you could even call it that. She hadn't or wanted anyone for such a long time. And in a matter of a short time she had found someone to care for. Someone who cared about her. And now, because of her, he is gone. She had wanted to get away from him, yet… "_Be careful what you wish for, you may just get it" _the old human adage goes. Her whole world is gone. Again.

~~~ The woman gets Connie to the farm house. They bundle up Connie. Then call the Mounties. Within the hour, they are there. Connie has to find her story. She decides to keep it simple. The Mounties take her to the hospital to check her out. She knows if she resists it will send up warning signals to the authorities. So she stays as quiet as possible and keeps her answers simple. She was attacked. She doesn't know by who. She doesn't know where she came from. She only knows her name is Connie. The dog in her hand, she won't release it. She won't let them take it from her to analyze it. It's all she has. They don't push.

"No point in pushing the pour lady over the edge," one officer points out.

She over hears the Mounties tell the woman, Suzie and her sister Terri, that it has been some shock. Terri tells them that Connie is more than welcome to stay with her until she decides her future. The Mounties said they would put out and missing person's bulletin. They did notice one distinguishing mark. As strange dog like face tattoo on her shoulder. Sharply pointed triangle mask shape. Indian? It looks a lot like the dog in her hand. It must have some significance.

Terri gets her back home and finds some clothes for Connie. "Honey, I was going to give these away. I've put on too much weight again. Let's see if there is anything in here that will fit you." They dig through the clothes and find a few items. Then Terri hands her a towel and leads her to the bathroom. Connie watches as she turns on the water. "Take a nice hot long bath. I'll get some tea and something for you to eat. Go on. It will feel better. Here's some bubbles." Terri pours the strange sweet smelling goo into the hot water in the tub. Then Terri shuts the door behind her.

Connie turns around and sees the back of the bathroom door has a full length mirror. She drops the robe and hospital gown. Now she can look at her new self. She has short cropped red hair. Connie leans into the mirror to look at her eyes. They are an amber brown. Human. Fascinating. She looks like she is in her mid thirties. The millim old Cybertronian inside her gives the human reflection a wiry smile. How old is Ratchet? She watches her smile disappear quickly. She can't think about him right now. She has to look after herself.

Connie looks over the rest of her body. She knows she is attractive to the human males. Even a threat to some females. She is so messed she can't even laugh at that one. There is only one male on her mind.

Steeling her nerves, she turns back to the tub. Maybe she can soak this horrid brand off her arm, slipping into the scalding water. She makes sure to shut off the taps. The dog sits on the side of the tub. Part of her wants to smash it. But she knows the curse it will release. So she resigns to hide it.

After about a half an hour, Terri knocks on the door. "I have some food for you when you are ready." Connie doesn't answer. "Connie, are you still in there."

"Yes," she quietly simply answers. She emerges soon after and eats the small amount of food with Terri by the window seat. Connie can't help but look out the farm house window to the stars beyond. Her life could have been so different if…

Terri keeps her from drifting off, "Connie, you are welcome to stay with me as long as you like. It's been a long time since I had a guest other than Suzie. My daughters are in college. Feel free to stay. My husband is deployed, so he won't be home for a while if you are worried about a man in the house."

"Soldier?" Connie simply asks. Terri nods. "What… What does he do?"

Terri beams. "He's a field medic." Connie's mug slips from her fingers to the ground. It shatters on the floor. Connie flushes with embarrassment. Terrie quickly cleans up the mess. She is not angry.

"I think you need some rest. Come on, lets get you tucked in." Terri draws the blankets back. Connie lays down. Terri pulls them over. "I'll leave the hall light on. I'm just across the way if you need me." Then she presses her hand to her forehead with a silent prayer. Then she is gone.

Connie is alone again. She should be used to it, but she isn't. She pulls the thick blanket off the bed and wraps it around herself. She settles herself in the window box seat and looks out across the vast Alberta plains and the twinkling stars beyond. With the cool breeze from the open window and the quiet sound of a sleeping farm, she finally drifts off to sleep.


	5. Chapter 5 she's only human

**Prime Blood Heart Wrenched Chapter 5** (connie settles into a human future... until)

Over the next few days Connie tried so hard to scratch and scrub that damned Decepticon brand off her shoulder. To the point that is was bleeding. Terri saw her scratching it one day. She smiled at Connie and then silently put a large bandage over it.

"Out of sight, out of mind," Terri soothes. Then she gave Connie a hug.

Touch. Terri embraced her. Wrapped her arms around her. The last time she felt this warmth… The silent tears come to her again. The tears are hot. They burn trails down her face. Terri holds her tighter.

"You lost someone, didn't you?" Terri so softly asks. Connie only nods her head. "A friend?" Connie nods. "A sister?" A shake. "A brother?" Slowly she shakes her head. "A man?" Connie freezes. She knows what Terri means. Terri doesn't pry, "Oh, I see." Terri holds her a little while longer and then lets her go.

"I've got a tractor in the barn giving me trouble. Could you come keep my company?" Connie nods. She's used to being silent.

They head out to the barn. The smell of diesel and oil is like coming home. She takes a deep breath and smiles. She looks around that the vehicles that used to be her companions. Terri pops open the case of one. Connie comes over and takes a look. Before Terrie can get the tool box out, Connie is already readjusting some hoses. Then she looks down and grabs some tools. Primitive, but good enough for these primitive machines. Terri is surprised as she just watches Connie in her element fixing the problems. Once, when Connie looks up to Terri, they share a smile.

"Okay, what did you do before? If you want to tell me?" Terri asks amused.

Connie ponders her answer carefully. "Robotics engineering." She dips her head back into the tractor. Terri starts laughing.

"Honey, this is a small world. My daughter is near Taranto doing the same thing as an intern. If you want to go back to that life, I can have her make some calls. With how handy you are, maybe we can find out exactly who you were."

Connie doesn't lift her head, "Terri, the people I used to work for were into an engineering I don't want to be apart of anymore. I want to start over. This could be my chance. I don't want anyone to know who I was. I want to go forward. Maybe I could go into farming robotics. You know, tractors with better attachments."

Terri smiles, "In that case, you want to talk to my brother in Iowa. He works for John Deere."

Connie lifts her head slowly, "Seriously?" Terri nods. Connie ponders this new life she could have. Then she dips her head back into the engine compartment, "Not today. Maybe in a little while. It feels good to feel grease and dirt under my fingers again."

Terri gives her an encouraging smile, "Yes, of course."

Connie and Terri spend the next few weeks getting the equipment all tuned up. Connie is feeling more confidant. She knows she can make it as a human. Finally she lets Terri make the call to Iowa. Then Terri drives her there.

Connie gets through the interview just fine. They hire her almost immediately, even though she has no official degree. Her hands on and innovative ideas, blueprints, blow everyone away. Connie has a genuine smile on her face now. She gives Terri a hug when it's time to part ways.

Connie makes a new life for herself. She has to be careful how innovative she gets. She doesn't want national attention. She knows Prime keeps an eye on robotics engineers. If Prime does, certainly Megaton has someone keeping an eye out too. Or worse: Soundwave and Shockwave.

~~ While Connie was making her new life, Ratchet was left healing from Ironhide's wound. The friends could never be angry at each other for trying to save lives. But Ironhide could see Ratchet was aching more than the loss of a regular patient. He was silent. Not even grumbling. That hurt worse than his gruff replies. Ironhide couldn't help but look down to his hand and pull back his "glove" at Chromia's name marked on his finger. Ratchet laid a hand on his friend's shoulder, "Go home Ironhide." Ironhide couldn't look up to his friend.

Ratchet actually smiles, "Hey, you did what you had to do." Now Ironhide looks to him. "And I did what I had to."

Ironhide smiles, "You know, I saw you two together. She could have been good for you if you could have shot that shield off her."

Ratchet pats the shoulder again, "Go away Ironhide. I have work to do and Chromia has been nagging me."

Ironhide smirks, "She nagging me too. She wants to see you."

Ratchet shakes his head, "I can't. I have a theory about Connie's body. I need more time."

Ironhide shakes his head, "No. You are obsessed. I'm taking it with me. You need to move on. You have to let her go."

Ratchet leans into his face and growls this time, "Like you did when you though you lost her?"

Ironhide grabs Ratchet by the chest and goes face to face with him, "Don't!" Then he takes a deep breath. His spark hurts at how many times he thought he lost Chromia. "I don't want anyone to ever go through what I did. I'm telling you, let her go. She's dead. You have to let her go and move on. You can't brood over her. It will screw you up big time. It'll make you crazy." Then he lets go of Ratchet and pats his spark, "You know next to Optimus and Chromia, you are my closest friend. And I'm begging you for your own sanity, let her go. Bury her." Ratchet's face is covered in grief. Ironhide grips the chest again, "I'm sorry I killed Connie."

"You didn't. I did."

"I can handle the thought that I killed her. I can't handle the thought of you killing her. This conversation is over." With that Ironhide turns and picks up a container unit and walks towards the bridge. Ratchet's spark sinks watching Ironhide walk away with Connie's sparkless body. And he is gone. And Ratchet is alone.

~~~ Three years go by. Connie has done well with her new life. She has gone out on a few dates, but the men figure out quickly, she has no interest in them. She goes on the dates to keep up appearances, but she knows where her spark lies. The men have noticed she has that far off look.

Finally, Ben clearly asks one day while in the office cafeteria, "Come on Connie, who is he? Clearly you care very deeply for some one else. You are a joy to have around, but what is your story?"

Connie gets a warm smile on her face and a far away look. She toys with her fork.

"Who is he? Some secret congressman?"

Connie laughs, "No." Then she looks up at Ben directly and with a little pride she is finally admitting not just to Ben but to herself, "He's a field surgeon. Commander."

Ben leans in now very interested, "What's his name?"

Connie picks up her plate and leans back, "Classified." Then she strides away. That raises Ben's eyebrows and then Connie smirks. He's not sure if she is pulling his leg, or more scary, telling the truth.

Connie keeps an apartment in town for appearances. She tries to appear as a regular human. She shops, she learns to cook from TV, she attends the company charity evens. But where she really likes to be is her hidden little home out in two acres of open field. Under an alias. It looks like a barn. The only structure. A large barn. Inside is the latest tools she needs for her own craft project. A way to reverse this virus and get herself back to his side. She has even been working on getting enough parts to get herself a new shell. Back to his side. Physiclly, that will be easy. The difficult side will be if she can get past Ironhide. But she still hasn't gotten rid of this brand on her arm. Connie even tried getting the tattoo adjusted at the local parlor. The Decepticon mark erased the alterations. Curses.

She is working late at the lab one night when she feels her arm start to burn. The pain is deep and she cries out and grips her arm. Ben comes to her side.

"Connie, what is it?" Ben is concerned.

She manages to gasp, "Don't ask, just run! Get out of here now. Big trouble is on the way. This place is going to be destroyed. Go!" They can hear the heavy footsteps coming. Ben's eyes grow wide with fear. "Go now!" She bellows.

"But you-"

Connie pulls herself up and shoves him to the emergency door, "Ben, I don't have a family waiting for me. Go now. I'm right behind you. Call the military. NOW!"

She literally shoves him out the door and then locks it behind him so he can't come back to help her. She begins smashing and destroying certain things. But she grabs a case and shoves it into a backpack then onto her back. The roof of the building is torn off. Connie continues to destroy devices. She looks into the face of Megatron.

"Yuck!" Megatron bellows. He slams a fist into the lab. Connie jumps out of the way.

Fire starts coming down on Megaton from three different sides. Prime isn't there but Hot Rod, Ironhide, Ratchet and Jolt are. They begin firing like crazy at Megatron, wearing him down.

"It's here. I can taste it. Find it." Megatron bellows to one of his little minions. Connie is chased about the smashed lab by a bird like creature. Ratchet reaches in and grabs the bird ripping it's head off.

"Thanks Ratchet," she calls up. He halts and looks down at her. His gaze narrows. He looks at her closely. The smile on her face is beaming. He is confused. They stare at each other for a few minutes. Her heart races.

Sirens can be heard arriving. The fire has sent the fire department.

Just as it dons on Ratchet who the human is, Starscream kicks a barrel of oil based product. It hits Ratchet in the helmet and pours down over his face. "Looking for a hot time Ratchet?" Starscream fires at Ratchet lighting the oil on fire.

Ratchet screams as it burns over his left eye. He starts firing randomly and trying to wave the fire off. She grabs a case of solvent and is rushing towards him when another blast goes off. It sends her flying through the air. It also throws Ratchet off his feet. He takes another blast to the torso. Ratchet lands on his back on top of a large ladder fire truck. The firemen had already gotten out when they saw the fracas going on.

The last blast send Connie flying through the air with Ratchet. She impacts with her right shoulder against Ratchet's insignia on his helmet. She cries out in pain and struggles to pull herself up. The solvent she had in her hands as put the fire out on Ratchet's head. She sits up. She can see Starscream coming for the final kill shot.

"Come on Ratchet you've got to get up. Move your sorry can!"

He groans, "I can't. I'm paralyzed and blind in one eye. What was that stuff anyways?"

"Who gives a darn right now? Starscream is after you." She looks around desperately climbing down from his smoldering husk. She sees the answer.

"Hang on! I've got an idea." She hops into the cab of the fire truck. She starts the engine. "Well, don't just sit there! Fire!"

"I can't see. Everything is fuzzy. Give me a second!"

"Fine! In the mean time, anything bigger than a car that follows us, kill it!" She shakes her head in frustration. Then she tears that fire truck out of the way of the fight. She finds the controls for the ladder and raises it up, like a hospital bed, so he can get a better firing range. As she tears away from the production facility, Ratchet fires wildly at the pursuing Decepticons. Thank goodness Prime arrives and begins to beat them off then help deal with the remaining foes.

Ratchet calls to her, "I've got to go back!"

"I can't go back." She growls.

"Not you, ME!" he orders.

"Look it buddy, we are kind of stuck together right now. Besides, I have what they are after. I have to get it away from them. You are in no condition to fight."

"Well, hello, was that what I was just doing?" he grumbles at her.

"Oh shut up Ratchet!" she growls at him severely frustrated. Traffic is getting heavy. Whipping the fire truck through town with an Autobot carcass stuck to the 100 foot ladder is no easy feat. He goes dizzy. _Who knew and Autobot could get car sick, _he groans inwardly She drives like crazy to get him away before the authorities realize the truck is stolen. Or the Decepticons figure out one Autobot is missing. And their booty.

Connie takes him to her farm. She dashes out and opens the barn door then drives the truck inside and secures the door. She shuts down the engine of the truck. Sinking to the floor beside the truck, trying to catch her breath she shakes from the adrenilan rush. Ratchet is silent for a moment too.

"Hey Connie, good to see you again." He finally tries to jest.

"Yeah, just like old times." She fires back at him. They both start laughing lightly.

"How about helping an old man up." He chuckles.

"Old man, my can. I've seen you in action." She stands up and then starts climbing around the truck. She sees how he it stuck to it. Standing on the roof of the cab, she looks down into his face, "I think I have an idea. You may not like it." Clearly he is blind in one eye. His torso has stopped soldering, but she can see the servos and components that are fried or damaged. He is a mess.

"You don't look so good," she tells him.

He chuckles, "You don't look so good yourself." She joins his laugh. But then she catches her reflection in one of his panes of glass. She smells like she's just been in a war zone. Her face is covered in soot, her pants are torn and her shoulder is killing her. But she looks down at it. A smile spreads across her face.

"What are you smiling at?" he asks her.

"Oh, you can see that?" she smirks back with a tender tone.

"A beautiful sight," he softly replies, making her blush.

"I can see one more beautiful," She shows him where her shirt has been burned away. On her shoulder is his Autobot insignia, complete with each chip and scratch from the shield. It has replaced the Decepticon brand. They both smile at the turn of events. They just hold the tender moment.

Then he sees things are getting a little too serious. He coughs. She gets concerned. She gets back to the task at hand. "What can you move?" She asks him.

He starts to check his systems. All he could move was barely his gun arm. His neck is caught in the ladder. His left arm is useless, as are his legs. He can't change the gun back to a hand. He is despondent. He sight heavily closing his optics.

"Hold on." She steps down. She starts messing with the leavers on the ladder truck. "This might hurt." He just grunts a reply. She sets the outrigger supports out. Then she lifts the jacks. In other words, she tilts the whole ladder trailer on it's side. Ratchet is dumped onto the ground face first. But his arms are to his side. His legs are at a horrible angle. He thuds to the ground with a heavy "ooff." "I'm sorry. Is that any better?" She asks.

He groans but manages to turn his head to the side. "I can turn my neck and taste dirt, but I think that finished off my right arm." She comes around and kneels in front of him. "But some sight is coming back," he smiles at her closeness. She blushes again.

Connie can't help but reach out and stroke his face. "I know you need help. I don't dare contact the Autobots. You know it would only draw the Decepticons."

"Ironhide…" Ratchet tries.

"About him…. I'm really sorry about that last fight. Thanks for standing up to him. Thanks for standing up to me. Are you two good?"

"We're good. Don't worry about that." He closes his eyes. The medic in him is trying to figure out what to do. She begins to go over his body.

She puts her hands in in him and on him and around him. With a "humm" here and an "Oh, yeah" there he knows she can see the damage and assess the fix.

He may not be able to move anything, but he can feel her soft touch. No one has ever touched him so tenderly. He keeps his eyes closed just enjoying the feel of her soft, warm tender touch. "So how is human life treating you?" He tries to lighten the subject.

She laughs. "Actually, it's pretty good. I am able to do the good natured creating that I want all along. It is really quite remarkable what you can do with these human hands." She stops suddenly. She comes down to his gun arm and looks into it. She smiles quietly.

As she passes in front of him he can see the look on her face. "What are you thinking?" She doesn't answer him. With the help of the ladder truck and some wenches, she gets him onto his side. She takes his gun arm removes some pieces. One is a mortar shell. "Connie, what are you doing?" Now his voice is more concerned. She goes to a trunk near the main beam support. She opens it and disappears inside. When she returns she has a black case. She opens the case. She pulls something out. She shakes it. "Connie, I demand to know what you are doing!" Now he tries to order her.

She turns her head over her shoulder, "You aren't my commander, so don't use that tone with me. And I'm not your prisoner." She slides the cased object into the shell.

"Connie…" he warns her.

She returns to him and loads the shell back into his gun arm. His eyes flash with panic. She moves his gun arm into position to fire into his own chest.

"Noooo!" he cries out.

"Paybacks, my friend are a…" **Booom!**


	6. Chapter 6 he's only human

**Prime Blood: Heart Wrenched Chapter 6**

**(Ironhide and connie's paybacks for ratchet )**

Screaming through the darkness. It's deafening. Is it the darkness screaming? Sounds an awful lot like his own voice. Then the impact. He can't see. But he hurts so bad. He hurts in places he didn't know he had and groans loudly. What hurt worse, launched into the darkness or the sudden stop? _Slag that hurt._ He manages to think. _Optics, open your optics, you idiot_. He groans again. Then he does, ever so slowly. The light is warm. There's a brightness over there but not directly in front of himself. He tries to assess his situation.

Head is pounding. Vision is blurred. Chest feels like he got kicked all the way back to Cybertron. Back feels like it just landed. Hands and fingers clench into a fist. Feet stretch slowly. His right shoulder has a strange tingling. Very carefully he sits up. His vision is starting to come around. Far distance is still a blur. But he can see his surroundings. He is laying on the dirt floor of a barn. His back is up against an exterior wall. There is a massive white with green-yellow, bits of black hunk of metal in front of him. There's the smell of… burning Energon? Weapons discharge?

He tries to get up. _Primus that hurt! By the All Spark, happened?_ Using the wall for support he stands up. Then he looks down at himself. This isn't him. Something is clearly wrong.

"Ratchet? Where are you?" He hears a shaken southern female voice from the other side of the metal hunk.

"Connie," he seethes. He should hold on tightly to the wall to keep himself up. But his anger is holding him up just fine. It is all starting to come back to him. He staggers towards the hunk of colored metal. He only makes it a few steps and then has to wait. He can hear from across the large barn that she is getting up as well.

"Ratchet? Are you alright?" She actually sounds concerned.

He is refueled with anger now and takes a few more staggering steps. He comes to the back of his own head and then has to lean on it for support. His vision is clearing quickly now. She comes toward him.

Ratchet can see her better now. Her short cropped flaming red hair is disheveled. Her white blouse is black streaked and shredded in places. The right sleeve is burned out at the shoulder. His insignia is clearly visible. He feels like he has been betrayed. She is clearly pleased to see him. He is clearly angry.

"You made it," she sounds pleased.

His jaw is clenched tight as he chooses his words carefully. "What did you do that for?"

Clearly she is trying to come up with a witty answer by the smart-aft smirk on her face. He's seen it too many times from Hot Rod and Sideswipe. He takes an angry staggering step forward. He tries to grab her arm. But she steps back quickly. Her smile disappears quickly. "Pay backs," she nails him with.

He is still angry, "I was trying to save your life."

She is just as forceful, "So am I."

He looks down at his naked human torso, "By doing this?"

The wiry smile comes across, "Hey I have to admit, you came out quite good." She flicks a hand to the reflective surface of the window on his true shell.

He looks closely. He looks like an early 40's white male. Blond hair with strawberry highlights in a spiky fringe on top of his head. Even a strawberry blond mustache. The electric aqua blue optics of his true self. His shoulders are broad. Just like a well trained extremely fit firefighter. He turns slightly. He closes his optics because he's not sure what he wants to see. But then he opens to see the mark on his right shoulder. Yeah, just like his friends, a hairline trace of the Autobot insignia. Not even black yet. Not raised, and certainly not silver. He won't be changing any time soon. He steps back and can see the rest of his torso.

Connie gets smirky again, "Boy do I know a few women who would love to be here now. They couldn't wait to get their hands on your body." She bonks her fist on his metal carcass to emphasis the pun.

Ever so slowly he turns his head back to her. "This is not funny. You have no idea what you are dealing with."

Now it's her turn to be angry again. She leans in, "Yes I do. So much more than you." They are in a stand off with a staring contest. "Unless you want to do some explaining?" Then a smile ekes out the corner of his mouth. Where has he seen this stand off before? She smiles back at him.

"Why did you do this?" he asks softer this time.

She ever so tenderly strokes his metallic carcass, "Who better to repair Ratchet, than Ratchet?"

"Didn't think you could do it on your own?" he tests her.

She draws her head back at the challenge, "I couldn't stand listening to you complain. Now, get some clothes on and get this hunk of metal out of my barn. I have better things to do with my life." And she turns her back on him.

He watches her walk towards the living quarters of the barn. Ratchet, with a steadier walk, goes to the fire engine. He finds clothes and boots. Thank goodness someone was his size on that rig. _No, reverse that_, he jests himself dressing quickly. Then he comes around to the front of his own torso. A cold chill crawls down his spine as he faces his own carcass. The optic chambers are closed. His gun arm is warm but no longer smoldering. The chest cavity has a large hole punched right through with a green burn mark. He runs his hands through his human hair overwhelmed by all these feelings, sensations and emotions.

Connie arrives back in a few minutes. She hands him a steaming cup of tea. He looks at it warily. "Tea, Ratchet. Nothing but hot tea. I swear. Trust me, it helps." He sniffs it carefully. "Terri gave it to me on my first night. That and a hot bath. But I don't think we have time for that. I've got stew cooking. It should be done in about thirty minutes." Ratchet takes a sip of the tea and a satisfied sigh comes from him. "What do you think?"

"It's bad." He lets the tea settle on this human stomach for a moment. "I've got two problems running through my head. One," he taps his insignia on his shoulder, "how much time do I have. And two, do we have enough to fix this. And of course three is, will they find me."

Connie looks at him curiously pointing to the shoulder, "What do you mean by time?"

"Tell me what you shot me with?" Ratchet looks at her directly.

"What did you shoot me with?" she returns.

"I asked first," he counters with another dip to his tea.

"I was _shot_ first," she retorts with a hip shot. Another stale mate.

He analysis her. She is certainly not the scared, ah, _person _he knew before. She still has spit. She still has fire. She still has ingenuity. The freedom has certainly release any other restraints on her personality. She is not afraid to push back or hold her ground. As much as he likes this confident and strikingly beautiful human-Connie, he isn't going to back down this time. He knows he is holding more cards currently. He walks around the carcass again. He takes a sip of his tea and looks up at her again. Is she going to answer? Is he? Nope, back to the stalemate. He sets the tea down and begins tugging at the pieces. He reaches into the chest cavity. His hand tingles. Concern flows over his face. Slowly he pulls his hand out. Then watches his own reaction as he slowly puts it back in. She watches him confused by his actions.

"What is it?" she asks.

"Once again, what did you shoot me with?" he asks more concerned than last time.

"Why?"

"Because the shell isn't reacting like the others." He rubs his shoulder, "Unless.."

"_Others?_" she growls out sounding very Cybertronian.


	7. Chapter 7 after you're gone

**Heart Wrenched Chapter 7 **

**(connie finds out about the _others._ ratchet gets hints about connie's real problem)**

She grabs him by the shoulder and makes him face her. "_Others?_ she repeats.

He meets her gaze, "Yes, others."

"How many _others_ have you done this to? What is going on?"

He stands up straight. She meets his stance. Connie and Ratchet are the same height. She has that Irish fiery red hair. She carries an air of a grudge for being wounded years ago. He is broader, stronger, a more seasoned warrior and surgeon. He is the one most currently wronged. Toe to toe. Face to face. Both of them strong, determined and completely confused as humans. Neither one is going to budge. Both of them admire the other for their strength and determination. The attraction is clearly a border and a bond.

"A virus," she finally concedes.

"No duh," Ratchet returns. "The Cortez virus."

She is shocked by how much he knows. "How…?"

He doesn't blink, "Not now. What else? How much? I need to know how long I have to get this shell moving before I either die as a human or loose my chance to transform back." She gasps. She knew he was smart. But she had no idea how much he was involved with this virus.

"How long have you….?"

"Too many years and ill relevant right now. Now, show me what you did."

She leads him over to the trunk. She opens it. There's a secret staircase inside it. They enter and go into her under ground lab. She takes him over to the area where she has been working on the virus.

"Why are you messing with this?" he asks her.

She turns to face him, "Why do you think?"  
>"To pay me back?" he cocks an eyebrow at her.<p>

"You're wrong. But right now I wish that had been my plan," she grumbles.

"Then why?" he holds her again in a stale mate stare. She doesn't give. Something changes across her face. He tries to read it with his own curious look.

But quickly she changes her resolve. She brings her wall back up. She fires back, "Ill relevant right now. Let's just deal with what is at hand." She looks away. He is angry. He grasps her face carefully under the chin and makes her face him. But he wasn't ready for the look on her face. Her wall is about to crumble. It causes him to quickly drop his hand. She looks away again before her features can betray her again. She pulls up the samples and slides them under the microscope.

He looks over her data notes, "You hit me with seventy-five percent virus, fifteen percent Energon and ten percent human plasma. I hit you with ninety percent virus, five percent Energon and five percent my own secret. My first shot was to encase the locking pin in a force field bound in plasma and Energon. My second shot was to knock you loose in case the toxin went badly for you. My plan was to return you to your protoform. But I didn't expect to be incapacitated. I didn't get a chance to tell Ironhide and Prime what I had done. I'm sorry. There just didn't seem to be time and you fought me on everything I tried to do to help you. Then you were gone."

She doesn't look up at him. "Why try to save me? Why couldn't you just do as I wished and left me alone? I was fine."

"Are you fine now?" This time he turns her face with one single finger. She looks up to him with her human eyes. He is honestly concerned for her well being.

"I don't know," she drops her gaze to the center of his chest. The she almost whispers, "Ask me after you are gone… again." He is shocked. She cares about him. "I better check on the stew. Excuse me." She dashes up the stairs leaving him alone in the lab pondering his own past actions.

What right did he have to change her life so drastically? Was he any better than Shockwave? He rubs his hands over his face What has he done?

Connie heads upstairs to her kitchen. It's on the floor level of the barn. She goes over to the crock pot and checks on the stew. It's just about done. She decides to find out if there is any new news. Turning on the radio, apparently there had been some kind of explosion at her work place. Firefighters said the place was leveled. Obviously no reports about giant robots having a firefight over the building. But she was listed as missing. Then the weather report came on. A storm was coming. It was looking like a bad one. Temperatures were dropping quickly. They said a blizzard would hit tonight. Probably knock down the outlaying areas for a week. Now was the time to stock up on supplies. She looks out the kitchen window and can already see the grey white of the impending storm. Shutting off the radio, she sets the dinner rolls out. Then the puts the kettle back on. She serves up the stew in heaping bowls. Connie knows Ratchet is going to be very hungry and tired. Sleep.

Where is he going to sleep? She feels the tightness in her chest. She will be trapped here with Ratchet for at least a week. She can't run. She seriously doubts his team mates will be able to rescue him. They would never look for him here. His life sign would be offline. She better find make the best of it. She will have to build a shield around her heart. She takes a deep breath and returns to the lab.

Slowly Connie walks down the stairs. He isn't next to the lab table going over her biomechanical notes anymore. She scans the room. He has found her incomplete prototype new shell. He is inspecting it carefully. She walks half way across the room, "Dinner is ready."

He whips around. He is smiling, "This is impressive. You did this with Earth materials?"

She shrugs, "I had no choice. Someone else had my shell." She turns her back to him and heads back up the stairs.

"Connie. Wait," he tries to apologize. She stops but doesn't turn around. "I'm sorry. I should…"

Ever so quietly she cuts him off, "Shut up, Ratchet." She continues to walk away. "Turn off the light off when you are done. Storm is coming. Need to conserve energy." She exits the room and returns to her kitchen. She's not sure she can face him. How much longer she can keep this façade up? If he touches her again, she knows she is going to crumble and tell him everything. She doesn't want his pity. She doesn't want his rejection. She dips into her stew.

Ratchet's soft booted footsteps enter her tile kitchen. Connie doesn't look up. He slips into his seat and picks up the spoon taking a careful taste. "This is good," he tells her softly. She just nods. He looks over at her while they eat. She won't face him. He reaches for her other hand. She quickly pulls it away to pick up her glass and take a drink. Then she resets her hand in her lap. Out of his reach. "Connie…"

She pushes her bowl away and walks away from him. She picks up her lap top from her desk under the window and goes back out to his shell-carcass. _Stay focused_, she tries to convince herself that will make things better. She begins making charts, diagrams and notes. He joins her a few minutes later. She is all business. He understands the body language clearly. He will respect her, and keep it business. He comes to her side, "May I?" She looks up at him. He is going to keep it straight business, too. She hands over the lap top. He makes a few adjustments to her notes. They continue on.

Only thirty minutes later, he begins to yawn. He can feel fatigue setting in. He asks her very carefully. "Did you put a tranquilizer in the food?"

She looks up with him a needles, "Ratchet, you need to decide right now if I am friend or foe. Because you are driving me insane with this back and forth. I want you well and out of my life!" She shouted the words at him. Instantly she felt the lie choke her. She had to drop her gaze. He takes a step towards her. She stops him instantly with another gaze of fire, "Look, it you idiot! You have been in a battle today. All-Spark only knows where you traveled from. Then you were shot across this room. And you were TURNED INTO A HUMAN! Hello, it's going to take a toll on this fragile flesh form. You need sleep. Undoubtedly a lot. I will be surprised when you get moving in the morning. You sure have functioned longer than I did my first few hours. So why don't you go upstairs to bed. I'll finish up here."

"I won't go unless you do," he yawns again. She throws her hands up and walks away. She goes to the kitchen and cleans up the dishes. Well, more like she throws them around. He tries to keep making his notes but finds concentration is fleeting. When she gets done, she doesn't even ask him, she just pulls the breaker and shuts down the lights to the main barn. It throws the main room and him into darkness. She shuts off the light to the kitchen as well. The only light left on, is a florescent light in the center pole of the spiral staircase. She mounts the stairs with out a word to him. He isn't far behind her.

Connie goes into her large bathroom and finishes up her evening routine. When she emerges from the bathroom, she's dressed in fleece pajamas with band-aids, hypodermic needles, and nurses hats printed all over it. It brings a smile to him. She throws a pair of sweat pants on the full size bed beside him and a large t- shirt from the recent charity event for the burn center. Ratchet looks around the loft room.

There is a wall mounted TV above a brick fireplace with a small love seat in front of it with a coffee table. Scattered on it are biomechanical, robotics, and medical publications. And several tea cups. There is a book shelf of different ambulances and other rescue vehicle models. Several Hummers. It tugs at him. He's getting a hint of her issue with him. Behind the couch is the full size sleigh bed and an armoire. But clearly her favorite spot is the large bay window. Most bay windows would have seat or chest notched into the window. Not Connie. It's a twin size mattress with cubbies underneath. The poisoned Decepticon dog is there. He feels dread about it. He knows instantly what it is. He looks over at her. She doesn't say anything. She ignores that he recognized the evil dog. She goes to the full size bed and yanks off a pillow and the top comforter. Hanging it over her head like a cloak and wraps the ends around her front. She points a bundled up finger at the full size bed.

"You are sleeping there," she orders.

He yawns, "But I don't…"

She feels like she is talking to a two year old, "GO to bed Ratchet. You are exhausted. I know I am. So just do us both a favor and shut up and go to bed." He doesn't move. So she shoves him in the chest. He sits down. She kneels down and unties his boots and pulls them both off, tossing them aside. Then she unceremoniously dumps his legs onto the bed and throws the thick blankets over him. "Good night." She shuts off the light and crawls onto the window seat-bed.

He can see her. The blankets she threw over his head didn't block out his line of sight to her. She may be cocooned in the fluffy comforter, but he could still see she was upset. She doesn't lay down. She is sitting with her back against one window, her knees tucked up to her chest. She clearly is looking out the window at something.

"Connie…" he tries once more in a tired soft voice.

Her voice is shaking as she pleads in Cybertronian, "Good night, Ratchet." Her voice cracks on his name. Her head drops to hide her face in the blankets. He can't help but smile hearing his name in Cybertronian with a southern drawl. He can't argue with her either. Fatigue pulling him down. His eyes close. He feels like he is sinking into the softness of the mattress. The pillow is more than cradling his aching head. The heavy, warm, comforting blankets seem to push him into safe oblivion. He doesn't fight it. He doesn't want to.


	8. Chapter 8 connie

**Prime Blood : Heart Wrenched Chapter 8 **

**(ratchet's second day as a human, blizzard hits)**

The darkness is howling. How can darkness wrap so tightly around you and comfort you yet sound like you are racing through the expanse. Even the Ark didn't sound like this. Or smell like pancakes. Pancakes?

It takes all his energy to force his eyes to open. Only his nose is sticking out of the blanket. Blanket? He moves an arm and pushes it away from his face, It takes a few moments for his eyes to adjust. Then it starts coming back to him. Connie's loft. He looks down at his shoulder. The insignia is a little darker but still not raised.

Ever so slowly he sits up. _Groggy, I think that's how the humans explained it._ Yeah, he feels that way. Now he can smell coffee, sausage and pancakes. He looks over to the bay window. The crumpled blankets are there, but not Connie. He walks over to the window. The snow storm has arrived. That's what he heard. Nothing can be seen. But it sounds horrible out there.

"Hey, you're up." Connie softly says from the stair case. He nods. "Yeah, looks like the storm came in full force. It should hold off human authorities for awhile. Should screw up any Decepticon looking for you as well."

What can he say? She kept him safe. She took care of him. "Thank you."

She smiles. "Breakfast is ready." He nods. Then he follows her down the stairs.

He didn't realize how hungry he was. She is amused. She knows exactly how he felt. She was starving herself. The meal is pretty quiet.

He looks around the kitchen, relaxing with the coffee. He waves his hand, "This is a nice place."

"It's off the books. I have it under an alias. Just in case some one is looking for me."

"How do you have it powered?"

"I have a small generator. Well, large in human terms but small for us. With this storm we will have to be careful how much of it we use. If we give off too much of an energy reading it could draw attention that we can't fight off. I have the generator shielded in the basement. If we are careful we should be alright." He nods. "I'll do the dishes, why don't you get started."

"Do you want help?" he asks her sincerely.

"Prime's chief medical officer washing dishes?" she teases.

He narrows his gaze it her, then smirks as he wiggles his fingers, "Let me show you what these hands can do." Instantly her face flushes. She know what she would like those hands to be doing. He sees her flush and immediately understands his blunder. He stands up quickly and leaves the kitchen. Back in the main room, he digs into the lap top and finishes their notes. Then with the help of the fire truck and the hoists inside the barn, he gets the carcass suspended. He brings out her ladders and scaffolding. This gives them a better work place. Now he is ready to begin the actual repairs.

He turns around at a noise. Connie is folding back a piece of the barn floor he cleared. Then she raises the lab floor to the level of the main barn floor. His jaw drops. "You are incredible, Connie."

"Yeah, well wait until we get your carcass moving before you say that." She turns her back on him. She goes over to her own shell she has been working on for years. She begins removing pieces and sets some pieces in his hands. "You are going to need these."

He holds them, "Are you sure?" He knows what she is offering. She is sacrificing her chance to return to an autonomous life. He took her life last time. This time she's giving it to him.

"You need them more than I. Just take them." She walks away to get some more pieces. With few words they begin putting his carcass back together.

She makes sure they get their meals. He makes sure they stay on task. She finds herself wanting this to go on forever, in a way. She doesn't want to leave his side. But she knows what they are doing will ensure he leaves her. It also destroys her chance to fight and repair by his side as one of his team mates. She knows with every turn of a bolt, she is separating their lives.

That night he wakes up to the sound of her sniffles. She is trying to suppress her grief. He gets up and comes over to the window. She is curled up in her blankets trying to stare out into the vast whiteness. He sits beside her.

"Go away Ratchet," she sniffs not facing him.

"Why?" he rests his back against the other side window. He props one leg up against the main window.

"I don't… wa… want you in my…my life," she chokes out.

He leans forward tenderly in their native tongue, "Liar."

Oh how she's missed hearing it in a soft voice. She finds the strength to face his electric blue eyes tender glow. It's too late. Her resolve has failed. She has nothing left. She has been by his side too long. She has met the real Ratchet and found him more incredible and desirable than all those years of dreaming about him. He is right before her. She could touch him if she dared.

But it's he that leans over with his warm comforting hands and cups her face, "What have I done to you? How have I hurt you?"

His touch is too much. "Don't you know by now?"

He pulls her into his arms. With a tender hand he lays her head against his shoulder. His long slender fingers sooth her temple. She melts against him. His other arm curls around her side securing her to his body. He finishes her off by bringing his other leg up to the seat and stretching out . She is encased in his embrace. His warmth surrounds her. His essence gives her security. She won't think about how long she will be against him. She refuses to think about the lost of his touch.

"Connie," he says her name with his lips against her forehead. She grips her blanket tighter hearing her own name so warm and tender coming from him as if they were at home and peaceful. Her tears begin to soak his shirt. "Talk to me."

"Shut up and just hold me Ratchet," she whispers. And so he does. Eventually her tears stop. Her breathing slows. He knows she has gone to sleep. In his arms. He rests his head against hers. Now he understands the emotional upheaval his friends had encountered. Now more than ever he wished they had warned him. But how could they have explained this? How do you describe the power an embrace has over your soul? How do you describe that the smell of her hair and skin combined effects your need to touch them more? How do you describe that her warm salt tears can set off sensations in the human body more effective than any solvent? How do you describe the weight of her sleeping chest against his own is more powerful than the Core? His own resolve is disintegrating.

The next morning, he awakens instantly by the lift of her weight. She drapes the blanket still warm from her body over him. He sinks back into the smell and essence of her and catches a few more winks. When his cramped body is ready for the day, he goes over to the bathroom door to ask her something. He hears the shower running. He ponders his next move. He should do something for her. He goes to the kitchen and tries to come up with something to eat. A surprise for her, after all she has done to take care of him. Just like Sarah has done for Will. Like Carley has done for Spike.

Connie is all smiles when she sees he has made breakfast. Granted it was only cereal, juice, toast, coffee and left over fruit salad. But it was still the thought that counts. He smiles up at her. "This looks good," she encourages. He holds the chair for her. She feels like a young human on a first date. They get through breakfast and then he shoos her out of the kitchen so he can do the dishes. "So what has made you so domesticated?" she teases.

He tries to make it sound off handed, "Well if this doesn't work and the insignia doesn't change, I may be stuck as a human. Mind as well be prepared." Her smile fades. He sees it change. He takes a step forward, "I'm sorry Connie. I know that wasn't funny."

Her heart cringes, "You have no idea how unfunny that is." He reaches out to give her a supportive touch but she quickly turns her back and walks away.

She strides back over to the shell and quickly picks up several tools. Focused, she goes to one of the tires. It is melted and mangled by one of the Decepticon blasts. She puts all her effort into tugging and yanking the lug nuts off. He is finished with the dishes when he sees the tire come crashing down. She leaves it where it lands. She goes to a corner of her barn and has a new tire in each hand. She is quite strong for a human. Even Ratchet is surprised. He tries to take one of the tires.

"Stay away from me," she yanks it away from him. She avoids looking him in the face. He lets her go. She hoists the tire into place. She almost has the lug nut tightened when the wrench slips and her hand smashes down. The wrench goes clattering through the scaffolding and she swears, "Aw scrap!" Her hand starts bleeding a little bit.

Ratchet rushes over to her taking her hand. But she yanks it away, "Don't touch me!"

He's had it. He won't let her push him away anymore. "No." He presses her hand between both of his.

She can't pull her hand away. She is fighting mad. The tears are from her heart and from her hand. "Let me go," she growls. He doesn't budge. She tries to push him away with her other hand. He captures that one too. He traps it against his beating chest.

"I'm done with this game. Tell me." She takes a deep breath. "I need to know, have you helped this shell or sabotaged it?" She quickly looks up to his face. "You already threatened to kill me once before," he reminds her.

"Do you really believe I would do that?"

His voice gets very soft. "I didn't believe it even then."

"And now?"

His thumb rubs soft circles on the back of her injured hand, "Talk to me."

She drops her gaze to his thumb. "You aren't real." His thumb stops. "You never were." She is able to pull her injured hand from his but not the one on his chest.


	9. Chapter 9 locking rings

**Heart Wrenched Chapter 9 **

**(Connie spills her heart. Will Ratchet? Ratchet makes Connie a offer. Will she refuse or accept?)**

Connie looks back up at Ratchet. "You were a fantasy. A celebrity." He lets off a puff of amusement. "Do you know how mad you made Shockwave? Well I do. I saw and felt the results of his temper." He lets her other hand slip from him. It seems like ages that they were in that war zone. On opposite sides. Fighting for the same cause. Peace. Freedom. He steps back. She continues. "Have you ever know someone that you looked up to but never actually met? What was it like when you actually met them? Did you like what you met?"

Ratchet thinks about when he met the new Prime, Optimus Prime. He was proud to serve the cause at his side. He was privileged to be counted among the commanders. He was proud to help Omega Supreme. But he was wounded to find this new Prime was just as regular as himself. He looks back to Connie, "What did you find?"

She leans in, "The rumors were true. The stories were real. But they only touched the surface. The stories were dull compared to reality." His eyes widened. "You are more courageous then they say. You are just as ingenious as they said, if not more. You are more compassionate than they said. You are bolder than they say. And by the Al-Spark you are so …." She can't finish. Her cheeks are flaming and her pulse is racing too hard and she's sure she's going to be sick.

He isn't sure what she means. He thinks he knows, but to be sure, "I'm what?"

Her resolve has shattered. In a flash she leans over and kisses him lightly, tenderly. He can feel her cheeks hot against his. She tries to pull back but his warm palm against the back of her neck pushes her back into his answering kiss. He melts into the taste of her lips on his. She gently pushes against his chest and breaks the kiss.

"And now that I've had a taste of you, you are going to leave." She slips from his arms and off the scaffolding. He leans back against the it. She was right. And now he had a taste of her heart. Unless…

He leaps down from the scaffolding and follows her into the kitchen where she is washing her hands, "It may not work. There is always the possibility of me staying."

She begins bandaging her hands, "Don't talk like that, Commander."

He leans over and kisses her again. But before she lets herself get too carried away in his touch again, she yanks her head away. "Please don't. I am barely holding it together as it is. If I know that I am responsible for keeping you from your true duty and destiny…. It would be as if I had released that toxin on purpose and destroyed your life. Let's get back to work. The storm will clear soon and you can be on your way."

"Then come with us. We have plenty of humans on our team. You have so much more knowledge and would truly be an asset to us. We could protect you."

"It has been a dream to fight beside you. That was the reason for my prototype shell."

He laughs, "Then what is the problem?"

"Look deep into your spark. You know what personal relationships do a base. I don't think I could stay behind knowing…" She turns her back and walks away.

He strides after her, "You were a soldier! You understand."

She whirls around, "I'm a medic! A technician. I was never a soldier. A slave, yes. A pawn absolutely. But soldier, never. You are the warrior."

He grabs her arm as she tries to walk away again, "I wasn't always. I had to be."

"And you are good at it. I'm not." Her voice clearly shows her admiration.

"Connie!" He doesn't want her to admire his duty. He wants her open up.

She whirls around again, "I can't be a soldiers mate!" She clasps her hand over her mouth quickly. Now she truly spill her soul. It rivets him to the spot. She flees in embarrassment back to work on the carcass.

They don't say anything to each other the rest of the day. Well, other than to "hold this" or "pass me that". Dinner is absolutely silent. They each find their own food that night. She slinks off to bed and he stays up late going over the shell.

Carefully Ratchet puts his hand into the chest cavity again. His hand tingles. But that is it. He looks down at his shoulder. The insignia is now raised and black. The silver is starting to show. Time to get worried.

He tries pushing both hands into the open panels of the chest cavity. Nothing different. Only a tingle. No glow of blue. Nothing else than the original tingle. His comrades told him they felt pull of their spark drawing them back to their true life. Even Optimus when he went back and forth. Ratchet slams his fist down on the chest.

A small black ring comes rolling out to his feet. He looks closely at this. It is a communications connector. From his spark chamber. He pockets it. They already replaced this piece. He looks over the other pieces that need to be dealt with. Cosmetic pieces. That was all that was left. And then to change. He will undoubtedly get only one chance to do this.

The antidote. There was always that. But it was back at the base. He would have to contact them. Ratchet reaches up to the helmet. With a few pushes and a few drops of Energon on the communication cells he is able to get a call out.

"Artic base," a voice answers.

"Blaster, it's Ratchet."

"Where on Earth are you? They are searching for you. Your signal is bad."

"Look Blaster, I don't know how much time I have. Tell Prime I need Poco's antidote. Give him my coordinates. Got it."

"Are you in hostile hands?"

"No. I am safe. But I don't know how long I can stay in this form."

"Form?"

"Just give the message to Prime. He will know what do with it." The static is starting to break them up. "Out." He pulls the wire and closes up the helmet. Hearing a sound, he looks up to the loft. She has watched him call out for help. They will be here soon to take him away. She turns her back to him. He dashes up the stairs, "Connie!"

She meets him and shuts him off with a kiss, "I know who you are. I know it has to be done. I shouldn't want it any other way."

"Well I do." He wraps his arms around her and holds her close. They spend another night in each other's arms in the window seat watching the clouds clear. The kisses get more passionate. He can feel the urges and desires undoubtedly were the ones his friends has succumb to. He barely keeps his head above them.

She gives him a kiss that tastes his neck, "Make love to me Ratchet."

He groans against his own urges, "I can't."

She tries to pull him. But he holds firm to his own orders. He hold her tight. He holds onto her essence. He can live off of that. He hopes. She resigns herself to the feel and warmth of him wrapped around her. His resolve is part of his attraction. She will try to hold these moments forever.

He thought he could live on the memories of last night. He looks over at her during breakfast. What happens when he leaves? They have agreed they need to separate. Could he live with himself knowing he had left her alone? Again. He has a chance. He could leave her with love. He understands Optimus' actions much better now. Poco was never sorry. Chromia was never happier. Now he has that chance, too. He looks over at Connie working very hard to restore his life. She is sending him back with her blessing. He should send her with a blessing too. But is he making a decision for her life again? This time he will ask her. This time he will give a piece of himself to her. A legacy of his love and devotion to her.

Connie looks down over the remaining pieces. She picks up an iridescent black circle of metal. It shimmers yellow and red on black. She looks very close at it. It looks familiar, but she can't name it. Ratchet closes up a panel in the back. As he rounds the torso he sees her pondering over the ring. He just watches her. His chest heaves heavily. She turns and faces him. Her face has a huge question mark over it. She holds it up to him. "This isn't one of mine. I don't know where it goes. A left over piece?"

He steps forward. Carefully he lifts it from her hand. He shows her how to twist the ring, unlocking it into two pieces. "I know exactly where this goes."

He lifts her left hand. He slides one half onto her left ring finger. She gasps as he does it. She knows what he is asking. Then he looks directly into her eyes. "It came from my Spark chamber. But now…." He holds her gaze. She takes the other half of the ring from his right palm and slides that ring onto his left hand. She accepts him as her mate. They can't speak. She reaches for him. His kiss is so sweet and tender.

"All are one…," he whispers to her. The weight of the world comes down. They know that their time is coming to a close. They are trying desperately to hang onto every nanosecond they can. Her fingers dig into his shoulder blades. He holds he just as tight. The kisses become hungry. His tender grasp cups the back of her head and his other arm is securely around her waist holding her against himself. Her nails begin to cut into his shirt. The desire is beyond desperation. He breaks his mouth from her to bury his face in the tenderness of her neck.

She groans a plea, "You can't leave me longing…"

(yep, they consummate in the next chapter… but also reveal bits of their past and hopes for the future)


	10. Chapter 10 hands on you

**Prime Blood Heart Wrenched: Chapter 10***

**(ratchet and connie share their love. Connie tells of Praxis' fall, Ratchet talks of fudge)**

Ratchet stops for a heart wrenching moment. Then resumes pushing the thought from Connie's mind with a passionate kiss. He turns his back to his shell of reality. Racing to the spiral staircase, she doesn't say a word, instead she pulls him up. In the loft, she pushes her hands under his shirt feeling his broad back and strong shoulders. His hands roam all over hers as well. She gasps at the tenderness of his hands on her. She begins to tug at his shirt. He rips it off and dives back in for another kiss. This time she slides her own hands up his bare chest. She manages to push him back enough so she can get a good look at him. She smiles as her finger tips are entranced by studying every muscle across his pectorals, down his taunt ribs and solid muscular waist. His biceps are clearly the arms of a warrior while his fingers have the lightness of a surgeon. She gazes up at his face and giggles, "You know for having had my hands all over your body this week I still can't get enough of touching you."

Even he has to smirk at the joke. But then he grabs her own t-shirt tails and yanks her shirt off over her head and rakes his eyes over her own human body, "My turn." The night is spent making love. When she cries out his name in their native tongue, he knows he made the right decision. He also knows, he will not leave her alone. He returns the gift with whispering her name the same way with a praise to the All Spark for this moment in time.

Connie begins to doze curled up against his chest on their sides. He continues to weave his fingers through her scalp massaging any thoughts of sorrow from her. She has none. She has her hands firmly against his chest. It was more like he was trying to push negative thoughts from his own mind. He presses his lips to her forehead.

She finally whispers, "What are you thinking?" He slowly rolls his head. He doesn't want to speak. He's afraid to say a word. "Please, Ratchet."

He finally finds something to tell her. He smiles, "I really wish they had shared more with me."

Ever so lightly she takes a tasty kiss to his throat, "Are you going to share this with them?" He gawfs. "Pay backs?" she fires his own retort back at him again.

Before she can get another word out, he rolls her onto her back and pins her with a look she hadn't seen in a about an hour. The tone of desire in his voice does her in, "I'll show you pay back, my love." And she is so glad he did.

~~~ Later, she returns to the window-bed with cups of hot tea. She sets them down on floor to gaze at her mate. He is laying on his front with his arms folded under the pillow his head is resting on. The pink fleece blanket of red crosses and emergency vehicles barely cover his stocky solid hips. His back is bare and exposed. She takes a shaky breath. He makes an incredibly sexy male human. She smirks, he was such a sight to see as a 'Bot in action too. She always did have a thing for the medics and surgeons. Clearly these firefighter shoulders are broad and strong. She saw them in action earlier this week when torquing. She swallows hard seeing his tattoo is now clearly silver. His time is running out. He either has to get the antidote soon or will die in her arms. They both know it but won't discuss it.

She tries not to think about that. Instead she comes to his side and straddles his hips. "Ha! Mmmm…" he sighs with a smile across his face as she settles herself. Her palms starts at either side of the base of his spine. With gentle pressure, she presses and soothes her hands up. He moans in satisfaction and comfort. She continues soothing her lover's body. She wants to remember every part of their time together. She needs to hold onto these memories forever. She kneads her fingers into his solid strong back. His mind is barely conscious as he tells her, "Connie…" She leans into the sound of his voice. "I never realized how much I needed someone."

She lays her self across his body. The tops of her feet against the bottom of his. She slides her hands down his warrior ones to join his tender fingers under the pillow. She lays her head against his. "I am so glad you took a risk on me. I will never be sorry for this time."

A tear escapes him and he chokes, "Please come with me."

She presses her lips to his temple, "Ratchet, I will never truly leave you." He clenches her fingers in his. He knows she will still leave, but she was right. They will always be together in their souls. "I have to give back to the humans what they gave me."

"And you say all those honorable things about me. No, darling, it's I who am proud to be bound to you." She blushes at his gift to let her go honorably and duty.

~~ Sound asleep he feels her jump up. He snakes an arm around her waist pulling her back to his side. He buries his nose in her temple sleepily, "And where do you think you are going?"

She giggles against him and slides her hand across his, "Food. You know, human Energon. I'm ravenous."

His lips seek the tender spot beneath her ear, "Mmm…" She's about to give into him again, but instead his stomach growls too. He pulls back and laughs. They make it down to the kitchen with a candle. With the power out, and not daring to give off any more energy readings that they have to, they don't turn anything on. They begin rummaging through the cupboards. He reaches into the fruit bowl and grabs the last tangerine, a couple apples and a pear. She hears him and turns to find him juggling them in the air. She giggles at him again, until he drops the pear. He shrugs his shoulder and retrieves it from under the table. She takes the fruit bowl from the table and puts the fruit back into it. Then she finds the last of the pound cake from the freezer. Ratchet also goes through the cupboards. His hand finds a glass jar in the back. He turns it and reads the label. His face grows very soft and he clutches it tightly. She sees he has stilled.

"What did you find?" She asks him.

He swallows hard, "Fudge."

She smiles, "Oh I forgot I had that hot fudge!" But he doesn't release it to her. He has a far off look to him. She touches his had tenderly, "What is it, Ratchet?" He looks up at her with tears brimming in his optics. She sees he is effected deeply. Before she can ask, he pulls her to him and holds her tight against himself. She lets him. Then he releases her, getting composed.

"I'm freezing. Let's get back to the fire." He manages to get out. She grabs a sauce pan, a kettle of water and a few more things. He goes to the opposite side of the barn, chiding himself not to look at his shell, for fire wood. Quickly mounts the stairs with loaded arms, he drops them to the side of the fireplace.

They push the table to the side in order to lay the blankets out in front of the fire. She sets the jar of hot fudge in the sauce pan with water to melt it. She also puts her enamel kettle into the fire for tea. Still silent, he takes the knife and cuts up the fruit to strips. When the fudge is good an gooey, they dip the fruit and pound cake into the fudge and dine. Connie notices he savors his first bite deeply with his eyes closed.

Softly she asks him, "What is it, love?'

He doesn't open his eyes. Instead he dips another piece and feeds it to her, "In memory of a fallen friend and comrade." She savors the bite. Then he opens his eyes brimming again with tears.

"Who was he?" She asks carefully.

Ratchet reaches for the next piece of fruit, "Her. If it wasn't for her, you and I wouldn't be here now… like this."

"She found the virus?"

Ratchet nods, "She and I worked on it for months, years." Connie stiffens. She is actually jealous. Ratchet notices she has suddenly gotten quiet. He looks over to her. Connie quickly looks away. "It's not like that," he smiles trying to soothe her feelings.

"Ratchet, I'm not an idiot. I'm certainly not the only one who has found you…"

He smiles at her lingering words of his attractiveness, which he never thought about until her. "She was a mate. Just not _my _mate," he leaves the statement lingering.

Connie looks back to him curious. "Who's?" He inclines his head in a way that reminds her he is still a commander with classified files. "But she was a friend?"

He reaches for Connie's chin, "To all of us. She introduced us to fudge. I found out later it was her solace. I understand why now. It tastes much better in this human mouth, though." They turn back to the fudge and fruit, dining on it in silence.

Later they set everything aside. The temperature takes another drop as the wind begins another upswing of howling. Ratchet puts another log on the fire. Then he takes the comforter and opens it wide. He settles his back against the loveseat facing the radiant fire. Connie nestles herself between his bent knees and against his chest. Her head settles under his chin as he wraps the comforter around them both. Only their heads stick out. His arms wrapped around hers staring into the fire. Her fingers entwined with his crossed over her chest.

"I was at Praxis," she tells him calmly. His muscles flex in protection around her. He can feel her scarred skin with the mixed Autobot/Decepticon brands. The horror of that day shutters through him. So many lives were lost in the loss of that beautiful city. How she survived in that war zone… "I was captured there." He turns his face to the top of her head. She can feel his warm breath against her memory banks trying to take those images away. "I heard what you did for Omega Supreme," she proudly reminds him of his work. He doesn't answer. "I should have known then that I was on the wrong side."

"Connie, don't." He doesn't want her to doubt the decisions she made long, ago. He doesn't want to remember the war. Not now. Not ever again.

"Ratchet, I'm happy here. I'm going to be alright." He smiles and kisses her temple. "Even after you leave." He turns her face quickly to his and kisses her words away. They won't speak of him leaving her as long as he can help it.

~~ The next morning finds them cuddled before the dying fire again. She lays back while he is propped up on one elbow looking down on her. Ratchet's palm soothes her naked belly. _I won't leave you alone, dear Connie,_ he wills her to hear his spark. She opens her amber eyes and smiles up at his aqua blue ones watching her. "I know there is much you keep classified. I don't care about that. But why do I feel you are keeping something from me about us?"

He gives her a smile that confirms he is holding something back. "Paybacks, my love."

She grins, "Are you still upset that I didn't tell you about the poisoned pin right away? I did that for your own safety." He just smirks back at her. This time she holds his face steady with two hands, "What, dear Ratchet, are you keeping from me?"

He cocks an eye brow at her, "By the All Spark, I have no idea what you are talking about." He laughs to himself about the parody he has just caused.

She turns herself towards him, pressing her body against his. She reaches up with her tongue and touches the soft part of his chest that meets his throat. Then she nips his collar bone, "I have ways to make you talk."

He lays back, "I know you didn't learn this from Shockwave."

Her body teases, "No, but I do know a few things about pulsar blasts." He can't stop the moan that comes from his throat as she shows him. Nor does this stop her. She is only making his prayers come true.

When his cry in their native language, "By the power of the All Spark!" with tears down his face, Connie knows has something to do with his secret. He collapses on top of her. She actually hears a sob from him. He buries his face in her hair, "I love you so much, Connie. Please don't hate me." She thinks his words are in reference to him leaving. So now she is confused. What is his secret? Is he changing his mind about leaving her? But she doesn't waste time mooning over that. She is too tired to care. She just holds him to her and soothes his back. She just soaks up his warmth. His desire. His love.

~~ Two days in the blizzard snow tangled in each other's bodies. The moment she placed the ring on his hand he knew she would forever be with him. She hears the howling wind outside the barn walls. She rolls over. A body, beside her. She touches it. It is so warm. She opens her eyes. The fire in the fireplace still lights the room warmly. She looks back to the warm body beside her. It's real. It's true. He is still here. She curls her body against his back, draping her arm tightly over his chest. He sighs tenderly and slips his own hand over hers. He too is holding onto each and every nanosecond of this life. He rolls onto his back and draws her to lay across him. He frames her face with his hands. She smiles down at him. He returns the smile.

"I will hold this image of you forever. I will search for this image of you. It will always bring me peace and comfort. You will never leave my memory banks. I promise." He lifts his head to kiss her deeply.

~~~~Two more days pass with them waiting for the inevitable. In a way, Ratchet hoped the message would never be accepted. But she could see by the way he stared out the window to the horizon, he needed to get back. It was who he was. She sets the tea down on the side table. Then she steps behind him and wraps her arms around his waist. She rest her head against his broad back. He strokes her arms holding her to him. She's letting him be him. He's letting her let him go. No words are said.


	11. Chapter 11 constance mecano

**Prime Blood Heart Wrenched Chapter 11 final**

**(optimus brings the antidote, what will connie come with them?)**

They are both sound asleep when it finally comes. He's got this dream of barreling through the universe in the Ark. He can hear the drone of Ironhide's voice. He can hear the low calm firm voice of Optimus. He doesn't want to think about that. He sees Connie in her human form reaching for him. The Ark is pulling him farther and farther from her. He can't shake the dread. It's tearing him apart.

Ratchet opens his eyes with a start to reality. The diffused light is coming through the bay window. He feels her stirring beside him. Connie moans his name in her native tongue. He holds her tight against his chest, almost chuckling to hearing that language with a southern drawl. But he can feel it. He can hear it. His hand starts to tingle. Looking down at the ring, he sees it begins to lightly glow blue. He knows it. Leaping from the bed, goes to the window. Yes, he can barely see them in the distance coming. The headlights cutting through the swirling snow. Ratchet races down the spiral stair case to meet them.

The radio calls from the table. "Ratchet, come in." It was Prime.

He reaches the radio ripped from the fire truck and taps the microphone, "The barn." Then he dashes over and opens both the main doors to the barn. The doors swing open easily with the wind of the dieing storm. Optimus, Ironhide and Bee roll in. Ratchet secures the doors and the team unfolds. They are all surprised to see Ratchet in human form. Optimus strokes his chin pondering the situation. Ironhide is very amused. Bee is scrutinizing him. Ironhide leans in to say something.

"Don't!" Ratchet points a finger first at Ironhide and then at each of them, "Don't any of you say anything. Keep in mind I have seen all your sorry tin cans at their most vulnerable." Ratchet keeps his eyes locked on Ironhide daring him to speak. Ironhide ponders it and then drops his hand.

Before Optimus can say anything, Connie is heard from upstairs. "Ratchet." It's not a question. It is a plea. Ratchet blushes.

Ironhide crosses his arms over his chest clearly stating, "Can't even follow your own orders, can you?"

Bee is embarrassed with Ratchet. But Optimus is very tender and supportive, "Go. We will wait." Ratchet only hesitates until Connie calls out again. As Ratchet is heading up the stairs, Optimus reminds him, "We need to roll out soon. I think we have been followed." Ratchet only nods.

He races up the stairs and kneels beside the bed. Connie has fear and sorrow written all over her face. The time has finally come. She can see the look on his face as she strokes . "They're here aren't they?" Ratchet just nods. "It's time isn't it?" He nods again. She pulls him to her with both hands. He gives into her kiss, but only shortly.

"Ratchet, 400 kliks," Optimus warns.

Ratchet doesn't respond. There's no need to. He looks down at his hands. He takes the ring off and takes her hand. He slides his ring onto her hand, but he doesn't make them lock together. He makes it look like a double pattern. "If you need me, turn it around and lock them together. I'll try to reach you." He kisses the rings on her hand. Then he looks into her eyes, "They have the antidote. Do you want to come?"

Her finger nails dig into his skin. Does she want to watch him slip from her fingers? Does she want to watch him return to his real life? Does she want to constantly watch him leave her and one day never return? Or does she want to walk away and believe he is safe? His duty. His honor. Her pride in him. His pride in her. She closes her eyes tightly.

"Ratchet!" Ironhide bellows his warning none too nicely. Ratchet doesn't say a word. He slips from her fingers. Before his foot touches the first step, he can hear her soft sobs. It tears him apart, but he must go. She knows it too.

He races down the stairs and looks up at Optimus forcefully, "Do it, quickly!" Optimus asks him with one look to think twice. Ratchet actually growls angrily at Optimus and orders, "Do it now, Prime!" Optimus fires off a small charge. It envelopes Ratchet. His human body has a blue sheen to it and he can feel the change. Now he can finally feel the draw they talked about. Quickly before he changes his mind, he turns and runs towards his shell. Just as his hand touches the shell, there is a flash of blue light and the shell roars it's head back. He is alive. Ratchet shakes his hands out. Then his legs. He rolls his neck around. Then he checks his armament. It's all there.

"Looks good, Ratchet," Ironhide approves. "How does it feel?"

"Let's go get some Decepticon punks," borrowing Ironhide's term with determination slamming a fist into the oposite palm.

Bee points to the loft. Connie has watched him return to the life he was destined to live, with a smile. Optimus knows this moment. They all do. With a silent hand movement from Optimus, the others leave Connie and Ratchet alone. Ratchet walks over to her. With both hands she strokes his cheeks, "You look good in uniform." He smiles at her.

"Trouble is coming. You need to leave. Come with us?" Ratchet almost begs.

She makes a long stroke to his nose, "You know I can't."

He leans closer then whispers in her ear, "Don't ask right now, but I want you to keep two names in your spark," a finger tip touches the center of her chest lightly.

"Anything," She leans into the tenderness of his breath on her neck.

"Orion and Jazzol." Then, ever so slowly he pulls back. He doesn't want to betray himself. She looks at him curiously. He leans in again. She kisses his metal lips sweetly.

"I'm taking your name when I leave here," she smiles. With the back of one knuckle he touches her cheek.

"But not this," he tells her. Ever so carefully he turns her bare shoulder towards him and turns his epidermis laser to his brand on her. He carefully scans it. It erases both his burn mark on her and the Decepticon brand. She will look like a normal human when she leaves this place. As he pulls back, they both notice the mark on his left hand. An engravement is left in red trimmed in black. They both glance to her hand with both the rings. She maybe leaving with the rings, but he has the matching mark of a human husband. They have traded brands. They can't help but giggle.

"Ratchet, 100 kliks!" Optimus orders.

Connie hurries away from him. Quickly she gets dressed then she pulls on her jacket and her warm boots. She yanks her computer from the table down stairs. She dashes to the back corner of the barn. Ratchet watches her scurry. He never noticed that tarpped object in the corner. She yanks the parachute material off the object. Now he understands the spare tires. She turns back to him and blushes. "Sorry, but I like red." He cocks a hand to his hip in amusement while she climbs into the red and black H 2. She tries to get it started. It won't start. She hangs her head out the window, "Would you mind?" He shakes his head and then changes the point of his finger. He sends a light jolt into the Hummer's hood. The truck starts up. She pulls out and heads for the door. Ratchet follows her out.

The Autobots stand around the Red Hummer. She looks up to them, "Optimus, the barn must be blown." Optimus just nods. She hands him the dog, "I trust you to get rid of this."

She turns back to Ratchet. What is left to say? Too much. Not enough time in all eternity. It was time to flee. She just nods to them all. To Ratchet she gives a secret smile. He just nods to her. She shoves the gear into 4-wheel drive and tears off east into the snow. Optimus watches her go. He pulls out his ion cannon. The others follow suit. They light up the barn and blast it into less than rubble.

Then Optimus turns to Ratchet, "North or east?" He's asking his friend where his spark is leading him: duty or mate?

Ratchet watches her go as well. But his answer is firm, "North."

"Roll out," Optimus quietly calls. And they do.

**Heart Wrenched Chapter 15**

Connie heads up into Quebec. Then after some falsified documents and a name change, she heads back to Taranto. She hadn't been working in the hospital very long when she noticed she was getting these strange cravings. She didn't always feel great either. Her appetite was incredible. She began to put on weight as well. Something she never endured before as a human.

Then one of her friends jokes with her, "Are you sure you aren't pregnant?"

Constance (her new name) laughs with her friend, "Yeah but I haven't seen my husband in months."

"Honey, the last time you saw him, was it _magical_?"

Constance has to drop her gaze. She's blushing at all those feelings she had when he touched her. The sensations he stirred in her. His parting words to her.

Orion and Jazzol? "_Rachet' Mecano_," she sighs out loud. She clamps a hand over her mouth. He knew! She quickly gets her friend to take her to an ultrasound machine. Her friend is elated. "Constance, it's twins! Too soon to name them."

She sighs with both fear and amazement. "Orion. Jazzol."

Heather looks at her like she is crazy, "Those are odd names."

Constance shakes her head, "No, they aren't. They are very powerful names. They are heroes. They are friends. They are the names of my sons." She looks down at the rings on her hand, "Our sons."

Later that night, she rest her hand on her slightly swollen belly. She strokes her sons tenderly. She takes the bonding coupling rings off. She mates them back together and slips them back on. She can hear the pinging of a radio signal.

"Arctic base," is all that responds to her signal.

"Send Ratchet a message, please" she replies.

"Urgent?"

"No. Personal. Just tell him…. Tell him… tell him thank you. Tell him the names will survive."

Then she recognizes the voice. "I will, Connie. Anything else?" Jolt asks.

She smiles, "He knows the rest. Thanks, Jolt."

"Alright. Arctic base out." She unlocks the rings. She resets them the way he had placed them on her hand just before they parted for separate duties.

~~ Months later…A child was really hurting in an out of way town small town. Connie knew how she would want someone to help her own sons, so she went to help him, against her doctor's orders. But she didn't make it. A freak blizzard swept in and tried to take her off the road. She got lucky enough to find a hotel and get inside before the heavy stuff fell. Connie felt awful. She thought it was the difficult drive having never experienced childbirth before. Sure some of her colleges had talked about it but Connie had no really frame to go off of, she didn't understand the strange feelings like her guts being ripped out. She'd had her arms ripped off before so she did have that reference, but that was a lifetime ago. Terrified she would loose her sons, she reset the rings. The first link was to Artic Base. Bee was manning the post this time. Cringing in pain, she cried out, "Bee, you have to patch me into Ratchet. Hurry."

"Connie, why?"

She took a deep breath and then seethed, "His sons."

A few clicks later, Connie could hear Ratchet's urgent voice, "Connie? This isn't a good time."

She pants her breath out, "Neither for me. Am I going to loose our sons?" She can hear him shuffle off to the side away from the others, but she can still hear they are getting ready for battle.

"Listen to me love, I think it's time. I've done some calculations and human twins sometimes arrive early, but healthy." A blast rockets him and the connection goes fuzzy with static, "We might loose our communication lines, so I better say this quick, I love you and I know you can do this. It should be a walk in the park after all you went through with Shockwave."

She sniffles, "But not so easy with out you."

He chuckles, "I'm right here. And in a little bit, I'll be there two more ways, my love. Hang on, I'll be right back." She hears him grumble orders to Red Alert and then bring a human over to the communications station. "Connie, this is the human medic on board. She's going to help you…us."

Connie laughs at his nervousness. Ratchet did his best to help her with the assistance of a human but when all is said and done, Connie was on her own. She was alone in a strange room with only the light from the fireplace with the wind howling and growling outside. "Ratchet!" she screamed, "Its like screaming through an unstable wormhole while trying to rip my spark out."

And just as bad, Ratchet pounded a bulkhead with his fist taking it out on his team with harsh words (when they interrupted) for not being there to help her. He kept saying he was sorry he wasn't there for her. She just told him to keep that com line open.

Orion arrived first. Connie wrapped him up and tried to describe him to Ratchet as best as possible. But she didn't have time to wait. Less than five minutes later, Jazzol arrived. She got them cleaned up and hunkered down next to the fire to keep them all warm. Five minutes later, Connie could hear a final blast and the line went dead.

Ratchet was in battle and she was alone with their sons. Any Con he crossed felt his pain swiftly and harshly. Many were surprised to see the medic leading the charge to free the captives. Even Sidewipe and Sunstreaker had to race to keep up with the grumpy surgeon. It was nearly a month before Ratchet heard from her again.

For Connie, it was two days before anyone found her. Power was still out and the local phones were down. But she had her sons and according to the hospital she finally made it to, we were fine too. Connie did the little boy's surgery with much assistance and then headed back home with her own boys.

After that, every time there is a blizzard or a snow-in, Connie bundled up her boys next to the fire with a bowl of fruit and fudge and told them their birth story and the hero their father is.

~~ Connie makes a life for her self and her twin sons in Taranto. She works as a nurse in the pediatrics orthopedic wing and then gets her doctorate in pediatric orthopedics. She tells the boys that their father, her husband, is a medic/surgeon in the military. But it's black ops. His true name is hidden to all but her. To everyone else, he is Rachet' Mecano'. They are named for two of his friends and fellow warriors. A battle long ago, but not forgotten to her. They grew up knowing their father was a hero. Yet they never met him.

He saw them at least once. Constance was in the front yard of her town house kicking the soccer ball around with her ten year old sons. One with flaming red hair. One with strawberry blond hair. A florescent rescue vehicle slowly rolls down their street. The boys are enamored by it. "Cool!" they point and stare. It toots it's horn at them. They wave excitedly.

Connie just beams. Her ring begins to vibrate. She twists it together. She hears simply, "I love you," in their native tongue. Then the vehicle tears off down the road flashing it's lights. It meets up with a little yellow car, black truck, and a red/blue semi. The four of them are gone in a flash. She never saw him again. But they kept the communication lines open.

Their sons follow their parents footsteps: Orion becomes a human surgeon. While Jazzol becomes an amazing robotics engineer. They both become hard working and dedicated fathers.

~~ Jungle base, years later after Ratchet had resumed his true form, Connie is at a jungle resort with her two sons and family. Connie is an old woman now on a quiet walk with just her two sons. They are at a look out over the water falls. But she looks north to the station barely sticking out. Her sons watch her. She struggles to remove her wedding ring. They never saw her do this in all their years. The ring is actually two rings. She turns one around and locks them together. Then she slips it back onto her ring finger. It settles into the impression in her hand. She closes her eyes. Her sons watch her carefully. She is listening to something they can't hear. She lowers her head and then the tears stream down her face. She sinks to her knees. "Oh Ratchet." she softly moans.

"Mom!" her sons sink to her side. "What is it, Mom?"

"Your father is dead," she tells them simply. "Executed."

They look at her curiously. They had always grown up knowing their father was away. They had never met him physically and it had been a very long time since they had talked to him. They never even saw a picture of him. For all they knew, he had been dead for years. "Mom, how do you know?" Orion asks. She doesn't answer them. Instead she looks down at her hands. She takes the ring off her hand again. She separates it. She takes Orion's hand and shoves one onto his right hand. She takes Jazzol's hand and shoves the other ring onto his right hand.

"This ring was your father's. Now you always have a part of him." She strokes their cheeks. "He would be so proud of both of you. Both of you healers just like him. He tried so hard for peace. He gave everything for peace. He died protecting his friends. He died trying to prevent more destruction." She chokes on her words. "I love you both. I never regret choosing my life for you over fighting by his side. Nor he. You must know, he fought to protect your world. He loved you more than you will ever, ever know."

Then they help her up. Her sons are very confused. They follow her back to the resort. She doesn't eat much at dinner that night. She just smiles at her family with a silent sorrow behind her eyes. Her smile and emotions are truly mixed. She had a wonderful life filled with love… after Ratchet came into her life. It was just too bad he couldn't have been by her side. But then, that wouldn't have been the Ratchet she knew and loved. A healer. A brave soldier. A dear friend. Loyal to the cause. And she raised his legacy. That night she didn't go to bed. She sat outside on the patio watching the shooting stars. She thought how far she had come in the hundreds of years from Cybertron. Now her time was coming to a close. She had a huge grin on her face. Both she and Ratchet were finally at peace. "Until all are one, my love. I'm coming home."

That's how her sons found her the next morning. Her heart had slowed to a stop. Her spark of life had finally extinguished. In a night of serenity under the stars. Surrounded by love.

**End**

(more of Connie's life as a mother in Orion's Star… coming soon. She meets up with Starscream's Alexis, see Red Star. Together they raise their children.)


	12. Chapter 12 reunion

**Orion's Star 4: Connie & Ratchet (**A slight deviation from the main story for just a moment)

Alexis stomped through Connie's front door into the storm room with tightly bundled Starlex. Opening the interior door she bellows, "Alright I'm here Connie! Now tell me what is going on!" Alexis shrugs off her jacket and then proceeds to help her daughter. Connie comes to the interior door. Alexis has to take a second look.

"What on Earth are you wearing?" Alexis is shocked. But on the other hand, she is pretty sure what it is.

Connie giggles like a school girl, "I don't know. It came with a note. I have a date tonight!"

Alexis' jaw drops and then looks back out to the brewing blizzard, "Connie, you know you are cracked to go out in that? I'm stupid enough to drag Starlex through it for you. The boys are old enough to take care of themselves for the night. What is really going on?"

Connie reaches to help unbundled Starlex shooting Alexis a look that she won't talk about it in front of the child. Alexis shrugs off her boots and hangs up the gear. Starlex then looks to Connie, "Are the boys here?"

Connie strokes her face, "Yes Sweetie. Orion is making fudge and Jazzy is finishing up a report. The boys have a lot of homework, but promise to make time for you." Starlex nods and runs off to the kitchen.

"Hey there Starlex," Orion's deep mature teen voice can be heard from the kitchen.

Alexis reaches over and shuts the interior door closing both the mothers into the storm room. Using her best commander's interrogation stance, Alexis scowls, "Out with it Conbeana!"

Connie cringes at her real name. "Ratchet is taking me out. We need to talk he said and doesn't want to do it through the link."

Alexis plucks the thickly woven material enclosing Connie's body from neck to wrist and ankles. "I know what that suit is. Do you?" Connie shakes her head. Alexis scrubs her face trying to decide if she should tell her.

Connie is now concerned, "Ratchet said it was a surprise. Why?"

Alexis decides if her mate wants to surprise his wife, she will respect it, "Let's just say, your eyes will be stunned at what you see." Then she sighs. "You don't know when you will be back, do you?"

Connie shakes her head, "I didn't like his tone. And I don't want the boys to worry. Otherwise I wouldn't have called you."

The flashing emergency lights can be seen coming down the street cutting through the swirling snow, but that is all that can be see, no siren. Connie grips her hand as it vibrates. Alexis hugs her friend, "Go have a good time. Take as much time as you need."

Connie nods, biting back her excitement. Quickly she tugs on the matching booties and gloves to the suit, but carries the hood. Connie bellows into the main house, "Boys! I'm headed out. I'm not sure when I'll be back."

"Mom! You're insane!" Jazzol calls down the stairs.

Connie barks back, "Yeah well takes one to know one." He chuckles.

Orion comes from the kitchen and gives his mother a hug, "Tell dad I miss him."

Connie looks out the glass stormed door and pulls his hand. He follows her to the EMT Hummer pulled up to the lawn through the swirling snow. Orion opens the passenger door for his mom, "I love you Mom."

Connie strokes his cheek, "I love you too son. Make sure-"

Orion hands her the seat belt, "Mom, just go and kiss dad. I know you can't say any more and neither can he. I'm fine with that. Just go and tell him to be safe, alright?"

Connie fights her tears stroking the dash board, "Yeah, I'll be sure he knows."

"Oh and don't forget to tell him I got accepted into the medical program."

Connie bonks the dashboard, "First thing on my list to tell him."

Orion leans in and kisses her cheek. He looks over to the driver in a military medic's uniform (a holo-form looking just as Connie had seen Ratchet as a human), "You get her to my father in one piece or don't bother reporting at all, got it?"

The driver smiles broadly at this boy giving him orders. At least that's how Orion interpreted the expression. The medic respectfully replies, "Yes Son."

Connie starts giggling. Orion shakes his head, "That wasn't a joke, Mom."

She shakes her head, "Get inside before you freeze to death and become a patient rather than a student." Orion scowls and slams the door against the storm then dashes up to the house. Alexis and Orion watch the Hummer disappear into the storm.

Orion shakes his head, "That driver looked so familiar." Alexis can only smirk, _It's because he looks like you silly! _She wanted to tell him, bunt instead, heads into the house with him.

~~ Ratchet's holoform turns to her, "Dear Primus, when did he get so big? Medical school?"

Connie smiles, "On his first try he got accepted."

Ratchet smiles, "That's my son."

Connie giggles, "Well my son has gotten accepted into the robotics program. He turned down the first one because it was too far away from were Orion got accepted." Ratchet chuckles and keeps going through the snow breaking into 4WD. Connie strokes the dash, "Where are we going?"

"Just hold on. It won't be long." Connie settles back into his seat and feels him mold around her. "I've missed you badly." She runs her hands along the door panel trying to sooth him. She knows whatever he has to tell her, it is going to be painful. He chooses to remain silent, instead turning on soft country music he knows she likes.

~~ Soon Ratchet has them to their destination and tells her to pull on the fabric hood. She does and climbs out. She can see they are near a lake and the blizzard is really starting to kick up. Ratchet then kneels, holding a hand out to her. His tone is so warm and inviting, pushing sensuous, "Come into my spark, My Love." With that, he parts a panel in his chest and brings her to the blue glow of his chest. He would never do anything to jeopardize her life, after all he is a medic and her spark mate. Connie reaches her hands out and is enveloped by his spark. She hears him gasp in delight and then the blue light overcomes her, blinding her.

~~~Opening her eyes, she can see they are back on Cybertron. But this looks like the pictures between the wars. There are healthy fruitful plains laying out before her. Then she hears his voice, the way she heard it once back home, "The Goren Plains before the war desecrated them."

Turning to the sound of his voice, she gasps in delight. It's Ratchet in his Cybertronian proto-form mode the way she had first seen him. White with streaks of red and the points to his fore-helm. The smiles on his face is genuinely pleased, "Oh my beautiful Connie." He strides forward reaching a hand out to her. Connie raises her hand and sees a hand she hasn't seen in way, way too long. Ratchet lightly laughs, "I guess I should explain." He takes her hand and leads her to a pool of water. Looking down, Connie can see a reflection she hasn't seen since before her capture. Ratchet wraps his arms around her from the back while she touches her metallic face.

Her black body with red accents accentuating her femme features. She looks amazing. With red and black blades falling loosely from her helm and swaying in the light breeze. Ratchet watches her reaction as he reaches and strokes his fingers through her blades of "hair". Connie looks away and admires his own physique. It's her turn to lay her hands against his chest and slide her hand up to his shoulder curling her long fingers around his neck. "Ratchet?"

He leans over and kisses her. Connie feels their bodies move closer, curling her arm around his neck while one of his delves into her blades deepening the kiss and the other hand cinches around her waist. Connie's other hand reaches for his waist and pulls him even closer. When her hand accidentally touches a sensitive circuit, he growls animalistic and pulls back.

"Oh Primus," he whispers. Connie lays her head against his chest. "I didn't mean to lead to that so quickly."

Connie giggles, "I'm not objecting."

He laughs, "So I see." She lifts her head for more, but he puts a finger tip to her lips, "We need to talk first, then, believe me I planned to interface." He can feel her body heat up at just the word. He tugs a piece of armor on her back holding her back for a moment. "This is a hologram program I've been working on with Wheeljack. But I have to admit, I like this feature." His smile is so delighted and inticing.

Connie narrows her gaze at him, "What did you intend it for, if not this?"

"It's supposed to be an interactive program for the humans for training, so see what it is like form our side. Since you are my mate, I could make this more hands on. I can feel your emotions. Empathic abilities. I do not intend that feature for the others. Even Wheeljack doesn't know I planned to bring you into my spark."

"You can feel me?"

"Can you feel me?"

"I just thought it was because I missed you so much?"

He smiles stroking her face, "In this case, we are both feeling the same thing. I have found a way for your human body and my Cybertronian one to spark bond." The delight of feeling each other's love is soon replaced by the wave of dread comes over them both. "Yeah, I know, now you want me get to the point." He signs heavily and tries to move away. Connie grips him tighter, not letting him move. So he faces her directly, "We're headed back to Cybertron."

"How soon?"

He shakes his head, "Soon." Now he holds her closer.

"You want me to go?"

"Connie, you know I would never force you to do anything."

"Ratchet, I would love to go with you, but let's get real. I'm not a soldier. You would spend more time being worried about me getting hurt than doing your job, right?" He nods, "And you couldn't leave the boys. I wouldn't ask you to abandon them."

"And the boys can't go. It just isn't safe."

"Nor is it practical. They can make a better difference here than with us there."

"The same for me. I know you could use one more medic, but not at the cost of having to defend me constantly. Besides, as a human?"

Ratchet stokes her face lovingly belaying the inevitable information. "I have no idea when we will be back. And I have no idea when I will be able to contact you again. The plans call for some deadly covert missions. Silence. It could be years before I hear your voice again."

Connie snuggles in closer to his arms. She can feel his overwhelming ache. "You are torn about going too." He nods. "How long do we have tonight?"

Now his voice is husky with desire to make her forget his deployment, "Until he calls." Connie reaches her hand to cup the back of his neck and pull him into a passion lit kiss. His hands slip down to her waist pressing her hips against his. Connie reaches her other hand under a shoulder panel to release the pin. Ratchet yanks his head back as she hit's a pleasure sensitive circuit.

Connie nearly blushes, "Love, you are going to have to show me what to do."

Even though his head is swimming he catches the meaning and her nervousness, "You haven't…?"

She shakes her head. "Ratchet, you are the only lover I've ever had."

He gasps, "Oh Primus," and Connie can feel his love for her surge and enrapture her whole being. She reverberates it back to him. There is no way she is going to ask how many lovers he has had. But she can feel it doesn't matter. She was the only one who ever had his spark.

Slowly, tenderly he shows her how to remove the panels exposing his highly sensitive under armor. And even more reverently, he begins to remover hers. Until she can't take it any more and rips the rest off, hologram or not. Then she lays her body across his pressing the heated metal and then rubbing each of their sensitive circuits against each other. The cry is echoed as are the bounce back of sensations.

He rolls her to her back and lets her watch as he takes one finger tip and strokes ever so lightly the fold of light armor surrounding her port. Her body shutters and arches into his touch. Then he licks his finger and does it again. She cries panting and he slips the finger in. Her body heats up to a level she didn't know she could reach. "Please," she gasps. He lets his finger caress and stroke the opening, teasing her to greater heights. "Ra-Ratchet, what are… what are you …doing to .. Ah! ME" Her body thrust it's self into his finger. His smile and cocked eyebrow says it all.

With his other hand, he takes hers and brings it to his own chest, "Your turn."

"What do I do?"

"Find the cord."

"And then?"

"What do you desire?" he whispers.

"Oh Primus!" she gasps in ecstasy. Her fingers tease him as bad as he did to her. His own body is cringing and urging her on. Now the sensations are ricocheting to a dangerous point as she draws the cord from his chest, tantalizing it between just two light finger tips. His spark stops as she licks it and grins.

Shuttering he warns her, "You better… oh scrap… soon Connie or…else…." She thrusts it into her chest and they both cry out. And then the calm just before, "I love you Connie," he pulses into to her causing wave after wave of pure ….

There's no word in any language for what they experienced. Only true mates know the impact two souls joining have on the universe. Time, space and bodies no longer exist. Just them wrapped in warmth and oneness.

~~ Optimus actually had to come to Ratchet because he had shut his radio off. It crushed Optimus to find Ratchet laying in the snow with a grin of pure pleasure on his face, optic closed. He really didn't want to bring him around. Even debated leaving him there alone.

But Ratchet would never forgive him. Ratchet would probably come after his aft with two wrenches. If the mission succeeded. Optimus just stared at his dear friend in utter bliss.

Finally, he made the move after Ironhide pinged him. Optimus knelt and shook the shoulder, "Ratchet, it's time." It took three tries before Ratchet's optic cracked open.

"Ummmm? Optimus?" Ratchet was drunk on his mate's love.

Optimus knew that look, been there himself. Fragged into oblivion. He smiled gently, "Should I leave you two alone?"

Ratchet knows what Optimus is really asking, _Should I got without you? _Ratchet shakes his head. "No, I'm coming. Connie is supporting the decision." Optimus looks around not seeing her. Ratchet chuckles, and then Optimus sees the doctor stroking his spark chamber, not his _cord. _Rolling to his side and moving his hand slightly aside, the spark is exposed and Connie falls out into his hand. She is just as messed up as Ratchet first was.

With a stupid grin on her face she smiles, "Hey there Optimus."

Optimus smiles tenderly to her, "Hello Conbeana. How are you?"

She looks to Ratchet beaming and then back to Optimus, "Out of my ever frag'n mind." Ratchet blushes. Optimus chuckles and Connie giggles.

"I need to leave. Should-"

Connie turns serious very quickly, "Sparkmate, take me back to our sons. You have my blessing and my prayers." With that, Optimus watches Ratchet kiss his mate ever so tenderly on the lips. And once again, he is watching the mates separate. It pains him. Ratchet carefully transforms and Connie staggers but gets in. Optimus follows them out. Ratchet is a bit dazed still and a couple times, Optimus has to nudge him back in line.

But them make it back to the house with the snow still falling heavily. Connie is strong as she gets out. She presses her hand to both of their hoods, "Look after each other, alright?" They both grunt in reply.

Ratchet's voice chokes as he orders, "Go Connie, before you become my son's first patient." With that, he tears off down the street. Optimus waits until she enters the house before he follows the fleeing Hummer.

Connie staggers back into her house. Alexis is the only one home and jumps up when she sees Connie. Exhausted, but with a huge grin on her face.

"Oh my word! You got laid!" Alexis gasps!

Connie laughs, "No. "

Alexis can only smirk, "An how does it compare to human sex?"

"No comparison. Two totally different experiences."

"What was he better at?"

"You tell me, Mrs. Starscream?"

Alexis only laughs. "You're right. No comparison when talking about two different bodies."

Tears stream down her face, "But one soul."

Connie plops down onto the couch and then sinks her face into her hands. The sobs comes shortly. Alexis wraps her arms around Connie tightly. Alexis isn't sure why, but wonders if this is what she looked like the last night she saw Starscream. Connie doesn't tell her. Alexis doesn't ask. Mates have been separated.

"Until all are one…." Alexis whispers to her own ring of white metal and green star stone.

That was the last time Connie ever heard or saw Ratchet. It would be years later when she would find out that Ratchet's shuttled had been boarded and Ironhide and Ratchet along with several others had been brutally slaughtered on the shuttle.

But this is not the end of his spark….. Keep reading to see what happens to his sons….


End file.
